My Own Happiness

A tale from a cybercondriac...And a story

2011-06-20T12:36:00.000-04:00

It feels like all my life I have had medical issue. I used to always throw up in school...not because I had an eating disorder but apparently according to my Pediatrician, that's how I handled stress. Man...too bad I grew out of that one...other wise I'd be skinny and on America's Next Top Model. I was also diagnosed with GERD when I was in Middle school (I think it was middle school...although I may be incorrect). I had/have awful heartburn. It actually wasn't until this year that I found a pill that I can go all day on and not get heartburn. What i mean by that is that on my old pills, I would take one at night and be okay...but if I got up in the morning and had anything to drink or eat...I couldn't lay back down without having to take another pill...which wasn't prescribed that way...but that's how it had to be. So I guess you could say (and I am sure my mother would) that I've always been a bit of a hypochondriac...although now a days I'm a cyberchondriac because I medically diagnose myself via online tools like WedMd or Mayoclinic. So today I realized that I think I may have a gluten intolerance. You see...my stomach always does weird things and lately whenever I eat something I get very bloated and my stomach becomes distended. I have horrible internal gas and pressure...and this has been going on for awhile. I chalked it up to my stomach hating me...but, I think it actually be my stomach hating Gluten. What attracted me to this conclusion was that after my breakfast this morning my stomach started doing it's normal thing. Grumbling, rumbling, pressure, pain, and bloating. Now, all I had eaten was donut holes (I'm not completely ruling out that my problems could just be because I eat crap all day long), which lead me to wonder if this was all caused by gluten. I have lots of the symptoms...and lord knows I lack energy and feel tired all the time (another symptom). So today at lunch I tried to test my hypothesis by eating Wheat Thins. Mine as well not waste any time and go for the full on wheat overload. And of course my stomach feels the same as before. This has caused me to decide that I should probably try a Gluten Free diet. This is going to be incredibly hard because 1) I LOVE food. B) I never was good at the Adkins diet because I LOVE bread and pasta. 3) I love carbs. D) Did I mention I love food?? The upside is that M. is currently on the diet, so that makes it a little easier. And if I stick to meat, veggies, and fruit I should be good...and I might even drop some lb's in the process. The part that is going to suck is that we've probably never followed the GF diet as it's supposed to be followed. Technically you're supposed to have a separate toaster, silverware, plates, fridge, etc. for all your GF food so that there's no cross contamination. We never did that. Who has money or space for all new appliances?? We do however not feed M anything with Gluten, and to me, that has really helped her. So I guess I can give it awhirl.

The moral of this story you may ask?? You see, I am going to blog about how this adventure turns out. Will it help?? Will I feel better?? Who knows...but I do know that it never hurts to try.

On a completely different note...

My dear aunt passed away fairly unexpectedly over the weekend. I was not at all ready for this nor had I planned on this happening. She was my only real aunt, and she spoiled me with love, kindness, and generosity. You see, my aunt never had children of her own, so to a degree she treated my brother and me like we were hers. Every summer she'd take me (my brother too...but on his own) on vacations and trips. Thanks to her I have visited lots of different states. Sure, she had her faults...but the good far outweighed them. Just like my grandmother, you never heard her say a cross word about anyone. Ever. She saw the good in people. And loved everyone. I took her for granted...as I probably do with my whole family. You don't realize that one minute someone is here and the next they're gone. I decided that one of the most painful words in the English language is regret. Why didn't I call her? Why didn't I tell her I loved her more. Why didn't I go see her the last time I was in town? There was always an excuse with me...story of my life. My heart will never be quite the same without her. She gave me a present once, I believe for Christmas...and it might be my most prized possession. It's nothing big...or extravagant...rather simple really. When I was a little child (not sure the year it was given to me) she gave me a teddy bear...and to this day...at 33 years old, I still sleep with it. "its" actual name was Dandy the Millionaire Bear. I guess even as a young child I had aspirations of being rich. :) I take that bear on all of my trips...and sleep with it every night. There is no doubt when you take one look at Dandy, that he's been loved. Remember at the top how I talked about throwing up when I was in school?? Well I also threw up when we'd go on road trips...so needless to say, he's seen the spin cycle a time or two. And sure, he has no stuffing in his neck, and he's had to be sewn here and there...but he's been my favorite constant in my life. I sometimes think about what I would take if I had a fire...and besides, getting my family out and my dog out...the one thing I would have to have would be my teddy bear. Even over my pictures I think. As dumb as it sounds, whenever I am down, or sick, or lonely, or depressed...that bear is with me. And now, with the passing of my aunt, I am going to hold that bear a little tighter.

Man...I think I had ADD. The real reason for writing about my aunt, is kind of in relation to the top. My aunt had Diabetes, and was overweight...even obese. But despite having Diabetes, she never ate right. She always ate out...and not good for you stuff either. But that got me thinking. I honestly don't know if I was diagnosed with a medical condition, if even then I'd stop how I eat. Take the gluten for example. Say I really have a gluten intolerance...I don't know that I'm strong enough to follow a non-gluten diet. I always said that my aunt should have eaten better, blah blah blah...but it's easier said than done. Just one of my many leasons I've learned in life.

Things I love...

2011-06-09T14:25:00.001-04:00

I stumbled across this blog. Its the bucket list of a 15 year old little girl that is dying of cancer. So it made me decide to write down the things I love. I will often update this as things pop in my head.

Also, one of the things on her bucket list is that she wants everyone in the world to sign up to be a bone marrow donor. I have been signed up for almost 2 years. Haven't gotten a call yet, but hope that someday I will. Yes, it will hurt...but not nearly as bad as seeing your 15 year old daughter pass away because there was no match. The likely hood of ever being called is slim...and I ask everyone that reads this (all two of you) to sign up.

Okay, so here we go!! I LOVE:
1. Storms. (but only when they are just storms and not tornado's, etc)
2. Listening to the rain...particularly when I'm home and able to fall asleep to it.
3. The smell of clothes right out of the dryer.
4. Slipping into bed after you have just laundered your sheets.
5. When I find a book that I don't want to finish, but can't wait to either.
6. Getting to sleep in on the weekends.
7. The feeling I get right at 4:25 when I know my work day is almost over.
8. Nectarines - Both smelling and eating them!!!

A lightbulb moment...

2011-06-03T12:17:00.000-04:00

Have you ever known that something is wrong with you...like, really wrong...but you can't quite put your finger on it?? To anyone else you're fine. There's nothing wrong with you. But inside you know differently. Well that aha moment came today.

I have always had issues with my weight. I have always been heavy...and hated it. But I LOVED food. In high school there was a brief time where I would make myself throw up after I ate. It didn't go on too long. But it happened for awhile. Of course it didn't really help with weight loss...but in my head I could rationalize it because if the calories and fat were going in...but also coming out then I wouldn't gain weight. It was easy for me. Growing up as a child I threw up a lot. The doctor said it was my way of dealing with stress. And on road trips I'd always get car sick. So throwing up to me was second nature. I didn't enjoy it by any means...but if it meant that I could eat what I wanted then that was nice...in my head.

Like I said...I have always struggled with weight. Started Weight Watchers and become a lifetime member in 4th grade. My mom worked there, so going was easy. Plus I met a friend in WW and I actually really enjoyed it. In high school I always felt fat and thought I was fat...but looking back on those pictures, I'd give my left leg to weigh what I weighted in high school.

As an adult I have started and gone to WW two more time...with this most recent "online ww" experience being my third. I have tried it all...to a degree. I have tried Adkins. The cabbage soup diet. Diet pills...and really WW was the only thing that worked. However, while WW says you can eat whatever you want, I never felt I could.

For most people food is a necessity...but to me it is so much more. It is happiness. Food makes me happy. Or does it. You see...this next part is what brought me to my "aha" moment.

Food DOESN'T make me happy. In fact here's a typical day:

1. Getting dressed: UH, I hate my life. I am so fat and none of my clothes fit. I keep going up a size. That's it...I'm going to diet.
2. Craving candy: OMG I need chocolate...or some hard candy. No I don't. I am too fat. I don't need anything.
3. 20 minutes later: Still craving chocolate...I think I'll go to the gift shop and get something.
4. Eating the chocolate: OMG...what have I just done. Great...look how much fat is in that candy bar. Hope it was good Sarah. Now I'll never lose weight. I'm just going to continue to gain weight.

That's just a small example of what plays in my head on a daily basis. What caused this?? I have know idea...but it literally happens every day of my life, wherever food is involved. It's like a recording that's slowly making me crazy.

For about the first 6 months of working at the hospital I would go to lunch with some of the people in my office. Our cafeteria didn't offer the best food...and not too many healthy choices...so I would get what sounded good. Sometimes a grill cheese and fries...cause after all...that whole delicious fried meal was only $3.25. Couldn't beat that price with a stick. But EVERY DAY after lunch I would get back to my desk...and almost feel sick. Sick with a "what have I done" feeling. I would feel guilty about my lunch. REALLY guilty. So I got to the point where I stopped going to lunch. It was too hard. I would bring my lunch...and sit in my office by myself...which I enjoyed...but not every day do I feel like reading at lunch. And on occasion when I have gone to lunch, that same sickened feeling comes back as soon as I get back to my desk.

I recently asked my friends if I was addicted to food....to which they said no. Only little did they know...I meant it. I feel like I'm addicted to food. I feel like it's one of those things where I know I shouldn't eat it...and I know what will happen if I do eat it...and I tell myself not to...but I eat it anyway to satisfy that craving...then I beat myself up over it. Just like smoking...everyone that does it knows it's not good for you...and that it causes cancer, but your mind tells your body it doesn't care. That to me doesn't seem normal. Yesterday or the day before I actually contemplated anorexia. Me, the girl who loves food contemplated anorexia. I had always heard that people that were anorexic and bulimic did it because that was one of the few things in their life that they could control...and I finally got what that meant.

Today I contemplated diet pills. I just feel like if I could get these cravings to go away...or I could ever reach a point where I didn't want to eat...THEN maybe I could lose weight. Alli is probably the only "safe" FDA approved diet pill. However after reading the reviews from everyone that had...hmmm...how shall I say loose, greasy, uncontrollable stools - well it suddenly lost it's appeal.

So then I googled "how do you know when you are addicted to food?" and I came across this site. It's a blog on Self Magazine. (stand back..."aha" moment ahead) Here is a small snippet in case you don't want to read the whole article.

We asked Chevese Turner, founder and CEO of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), for the inside view.

"There's been a lot of debate around whether this set of symptoms is an eating disorder or food addiction, but no matter what it is, it all sort of acts the same," Turner says. "What we're concerned with is, how is it treated?

"For most alcoholics, it's important that they take alcohol out of their life completely in order to recover, but what does abstinence mean for food? It's so complicated."

Turner, a recovering sufferer of Binge Eating Disorder herself, says she hasn't eliminated foods from her diet, but instead has used therapy and behavioral work to help lessen her cravings. For other BED sufferers, abstaining completely from foods such as sugar or white flour (and sometimes reintroducing them later) seem to work well.

How do you know if you're suffering from BED?

"We have people who overeat but aren't too stressed about it -- but BED means your relationship with food is extremely distressing to you, whether you're overweight or not," Turner says. "If you're overeating and feel a lot of shame or distress around that behavior, that really is the hallmark."

The paragraph above sums it up. My relationship with food is incredibly distressing. I would say that food, whether it be feeling guilty, eating it, or wondering what I am going to eat consumes about 50% of my day. It's constantly going on in the back of my head. Ask my friends...they will tell you.

It felt good to know that there is actually something wrong in my thinking. It's an actual thing. And I'm not alone.

Now, if only I knew how to fix myself...

Pain in the Tushie!!!

2011-05-31T12:13:00.000-04:00

I love 3 day weekends. In fact, I love them so much I think every week should have a three day weekend. This weekend was busy, and quite eventful.

For starters Friday night a huge box came via FedEx.  The brother was kind enough to bring it in for me. I knew right away it was my soon to be bike...so I was very happy to get it. Saturday the bf got it out of the box and started assembling...when he noticed one of the hand brakes was broken. :( Yesterday the BF's dad helped fix my bike by putting on a different brake...and putting on my new seat. Let me share with you what was going through my head as I was attempting to ride my bike.
     1. OMG my butt hurts!!! I need a new seat ASAP.
     2. Maybe that whole helmet thing being a good idea isn't so stupid.
     3. I am going to fall and break my head open.
     4. What if I slip over the handlebars?
     5. What is my foot gets stuck on the peddle.
     6. Why does the seat hurt my tushy so much more than when I was a kid??
     7. *while peddling uphill* My legs are going to fall off

Those were just a few things running through my mind. I realized...I may be a bit of a worry wart. You see, I take all the joy out of what should be a simple task and fill it with worry. Literally as soon as I got on the bike I started to envision all 15 ways my bike was going to kill me. Literally and figuratively. I couldn't just get on and enjoy. And that's whats sad. I do that with so many things. I must be so terribly petrified of dying that every activity I do entails all the ways said activity will kill me. Man...I have problems!

I called in my Nasonex - you know the allergy commercial with the adorable bee that has a foreign accent - and I was told by the pharmacist that our health insurance no longer covers it...and of course it's not available in generic. Stupid bee!!! I have tried Flonase, with little to no success...so they gave me another one to try before they could send in an authorization for Nasonex. Let me share my experience. Have you ever accidental gotten water up your nose while swimming?? You know that massive burn in the nostrils that it creates?? Well that my friends is exactly how it felt when I tried to use the nose spray. My nostrils were on fire.

Speaking of pools...I bought an 8'x30" pool last week but it was too rainy and stormy to put it up until Saturday. After filling it with water...which took several hours it was finally ready for the next step...the chemicals. We (and by "we" I mean the bf) added the pool shock and almost like clock work the pool started turning a lovely shade of red. Apparently that's what happens when you piss off algae. After much searching the bf realizes that he no longer has his pool pump from his other pool so we had to go get one. The stupid pump was $70...the pool itself was only $35. So I notice that they have a 12' x 2.75' foot with a pump for $79...so we ended up getting the other pool. Of course I can't take the pool back...so maybe I'll see if M's mom wants it for her house. Originally we were just going to use the pump on the smaller pool, but the pump didn't fit...so we had to drain the pool and fill up the new pool. Mind you, the bf hates the maintenance of a pool so he was pleased. Once the new pool filled with water we put the chemicals in. Now to filter out the water and we'll be good to go...I hope!!

So let me get back to the title of this post. If you didn't know...my butt hurts. I think the seat bruised my butt. It seriously hurts. I always new that stupid exercise would be the death of me!!! This is why I don't exercise!!!

Stay tuned for more of my misadventures tomorrow!!

The Inner Workings...As I see them...

2011-05-27T20:44:00.000-04:00

The following is a small story of me. It may, or very well may not be true...but it's as I see my life. I have a very bad memory...not bad...just basically my long term memory is foggy...so the following may or may not have actually happened, but it's as I remember it. That is a preface for my mother...since I think she's the only one reading this. I am sure momma will say "that is not how that happened"...but in my mind, it is.

Let's begin...

The reason for writing this is because when a dear friend was asked "why are you and Sarah friends" (because quite honestly, said friend and I do have a LOT of differences personality wise...but then there are other things that make us very similar) this friend replied "because you never have to wonder with her. You never have to worry about what's she's thinking." When I first heard that I was a little taken aback. And then I started to realize, I am that way. So let's go back in time...as I remember it.

Growing up, and in high school I never had a boyfriend. I had tons of boy friends but never was I romantically linked to anyone. My friends all had boys...but not me. I was the timid, shy one of the group. My prom date was a gay guy...although I didn't know that at the time...although I could totally see it. I was the reserved girl that didn't do drugs, or go to parties. I did partake in an alcoholic beverage here or there...but that's what you did in high school. I was very much an introvert. I hated going anywhere alone. I hated going to parties or dances because I just felt awkward.

On the flip side, I was also very strong willed (we will use that in place of stubborn because it sounds better). If someone told me I couldn't do something...not only would I do it...but I'd take great pride in proving them wrong. My parents were middle class, and that's how I was raised. We never went without...EVER...but we also didn't have name brand everything. Which didn't matter to me any since fashion was not my forte. But in the same regard, my parents didn't have the money to buy my brother and I a car. And they couldn't very well get him one and not me one...so the answer was to not get anybody a car...and besides, in their day not many high school kids had a car. I was always told "you probably won't have your own car until you're out of college." And that's where it all began. Not being able to own a car was simply not going to do. So I set out to prove them all wrong...and I got a job. And I worked my butt off. With the help of my very generous aunt, she matched what I had for a down payment. And with the help of my loving parents, they helped me get a car. By helped I mean they took out the loan, but I made the payments. And by the time I was a senior...I had a car of my very own. Tenacious. That described me.

I remember going to church as a child and driving down by UK's campus. We'd pass all the sorority and fraternity houses...and I'd long to be one of those girls in a sorority. But my parents would always tell me I couldn't be in a sorority because we couldn't afford it. So what did I do when I was 19?? Again, with the help of my parents, I took out a school loan and went to Eastern Kentucky University. I lived in a dorm (another thing I was told I couldn't do), and joined a sorority. I can officially say...THIS was a time I wish I had listened to my parents and not forced the issue. Sorority life wasn't me. So after a year, I hung up my fake smile...and my fake friends and I left Eastern. They probably weren't completely fake at the time...but let's just say I don't keep in touch with very many...and the ones I do keep in touch with are because of Facebook...and because I was friends with them BEFORE the sorority.

Okay, so where am I going with this?? You see, I made a comment involving my friends beau at work today in front of her. I work with my friend...and her beau. Another girl I work with said "you can't say that in front of his girlfriend." I simply said that I could care less if it's her boyfriend...I was merely stating a fact...and opinion.

I'm not sure when the change happened. I think I grew my backbone while going through my divorce. Divorce...a word that I never thought would be in my vocabulary. I learned that I didn't have to take it. I learned that I was an independent woman, and I wasn't going to let someone dictate my life any longer. And from there I grew and grew to where I am now. But, as much as I like the tell it like it is Sarah...it also is hard on me. I never mean to hurt anyones feelings with the things I say, it's just that I feel like I'd be doing an injustice to my friends as well as myself if I spoke a lie, only to talk about it behind that persons back. Call me rude, call me uncouth, but you will never be able to call me dishonest...and for me, that's what matters.

So, you see friends...I tell it like it is. I don't sugar coat. I don't kiss ass to get ahead. I don't mince words. And I occasionally hurt feelings, but you can never say I lied to you...and for that, I am okay with all the other things.

Touched by an Angel

2011-05-10T11:05:00.000-04:00

There's a song by George Strait and it's called I Saw God Today. Below are some lyrics.

I've been to church

I've read the book

I know he's here

But I don't look

Near as often as I should

Yeah, I know I should

His fingerprints are everywhere

I just slowed down to stop and stare

Opened my eyes and man I swear

I saw God today

A funny thing happened in St. Louis over the weekend. I'm pretty sure I met God. Wierd I know. Allow me to explain.

My friend Tricia and I were walking down on the riverfront...of course it's the Mississippi river, so it was flooded. We crossed under the bridge and were amazed to see a statue completely covered by water, accept the head and arm. Obviously it's not something you see every day. There was a man there and he explained that it was a statue of Lewis and Clark...and their dog. Well Lewis and the dog were submerged in water, so Clark was all alone. This man was so nice. He told us all about the flood and how far the water came up, then he asked if we wanted him to take our picture. Okay...here's where the sinner in me comes into play...and please don't judge me. For a split second I actually thought - what if we say yes and this guy runs off with our camera's?? Ugh, I feel horrible saying it, but it's what I was thinking. At any rate, we said we'd love for him to take our picture...and he took the picture of us with Clark in between. Then he proceeded to tell us that he was homeless and he said he had no where to go and asked if we could help him with some money. Ironic since Tricia and I had just discussed homeless people on the ride up and how a lot of them aren't really homeless...and how it can be quite the profitable "job". I wanted to give him money, I really did, but all I had were $20's, so Tricia gave him $5. He was so grateful. He introduced himself. His name was Tony. Anthony actually. I told him that was my daddy's name...and that it was a great name. And then...he asked us to pray for him and keep him in our prayers. And ever since...I have prayed for him. In fact, I can't stop thinking about him. How kind he was. There was just something about him. I think I saw God that day.

Random Ponderings

2011-05-04T14:49:00.000-04:00

What does it mean when you see a homeless person/pan handler with a sign that says "traveling, homeless, any help is appreciated...only you see the same guy at the same stop every day?? Where is he traveling to?? And I always see him just walking up and taking his post. Where is he walking from???

This is an actual conversation:

(Casey has just woken me up at 12:30 to tell me Osama has been killed by the Navy Seals)

Me: Is there a lot of water near Afganistan (didn't knwo it was Pakistan...but same difference...different stan)
Casey: Umm, sweetie you know it's a big desert, right?
Me: Well I know that, but Navy Seals are supposed to be in water...hence the Navy part. Why are they in the desert??
Casey: You have watched far too many movies.

Now, in my defense...both my friend and the talk show host Chelsea Handler agreed with me!

I can't remember what else I have been pondering as of late...but I do have a new food find to share.

Normally I am not into the 100 calorie packs but I heard of the Snackwell's Caramel chocolate drizzled popcorn. It's 3 points...but it's delicious and I think worth it!! This might be my new addiction.

Bitter Sweet

2011-05-02T14:00:00.001-04:00

Last night started like any other. Dread of Monday morning work set in. I took some Nyquil...which was dual purpose. One, because I have this annoying thing that wants to turn in to a cold...but it just won't. And Two...because I never call fall asleep Sunday nights. I went to bed as planned, only to wake up to Casey telling me the news about Osama Bin Laden. Obviously the first thing that went through my mind was complete disbelief. After all, it's 12:30 in the morning and I was just awakened from my slumber. So I get on my phone and open up the most reliable news source I could think of. Facebook, or course. Everybody and their brother was talking about it with joyous celebration. All accept two people. One of which was a minister, and one was someone like me. The kind of person that skips the celebratory phase and looks forward to the "oh crap...what does this mean for our country" phase.

Think about it. To those crazy extremists, Bin Laden was their "God". He was their leader. What would happen if our Leader was shot dead?? Would there not be some retaliation? I can't celebrate. First of all, I can't celebrate ANYONE's death. Because yes, its a good thing...but he was still someones son. Someones father. Someones brother. And while he was quite possibly the spawn of Satan himself...he was still a life. And more importantly I can't celebrate because I fear what is yet to come. We got rid of #1...but there's always #2...and all the other extremists. People, regardless of religion are passionate. When you mess with someones passion and beliefs they tend to take it very seriously.

I'm afraid for Obama. I'm afraid for our soldiers. I'm afraid for our country. I think people might have been a little too quick to celebrate. I fear that it's like a basketball game that you think you have in the bag...until someone like Christian Laettner from 1992 makes the last second shot to win the game.

I hope and pray that things remain okay.

Sarah the conquerer

2011-04-29T12:17:00.000-04:00

As you may or may not know, I live next to a corn field. Living next to a corn field provides all kinds of fun things...like excessive dust, and mice. When I first moved in with the BF...I wasn't aware of such things. I remember the first time I found a mouse. I started crying hysterically and I went outside and stood by my car until the bf came home. He probably thought someone had just died by how I was crying...and I guess since the mouse was dead when I saw it, that's partly true. Obviously he was used to having visitors and while he did his best to be sympathetic...I know he thought I was being a tad bit ridiculous. That was a year and 3 months ago. Since then, I have calmed down...a little. If a caught one I was now able to remain fairly calm and not have to leave the house hyperventalating. Don't get me wrong...it's not like we have mice all over the place...just one or two here and there. But...the reason I am even telling this story is because I am proud to say I have conquered the mice!! a couple days ago I saw some remnants of a mouse in Reese's empty food dish. I was SO not having that...so I got out every trap I could find...and baited them...with what I am pretty sure is the miracle mouse catcher...Marshmallow cream. It's delicious...and sticky all in one. The next day I woke up...and I caught one. It was like a tiny little victory I was so happy. I felt like I had won! However I checked another trap and another mouse was taunting me by licking off all the cream...and walking away. So I reset my traps...and now it's this fun game of "cat" (aka - sarah) and mouse (aka Jerry the mouse). The first thing I do when I get home is check the traps to see if I have any prizes. This morning I had another one in the trap! I think it might have been the marshmallow licker from the previous trap! I know, Mice are gross...which is why the bf says my real victory will be if I can ever take them and dispose of them. I am SO NOT there yet. The BF is in charge in that department. He will kill me if he finds out I wrote about this...good thing he's not a blog follower. :)

So M. has been sick for over a week. It started last Friday when I realized she had a temperature...which was weird because I really saw no symptoms other than the fact that she looked like she had gotten hit with a brick truck. Poor little thing was exhausted. However, over the week her symptoms started to show and she lost her fever. we actually kept her home the last three days because I'm not all about sending a sick kid to school to infect all the other kids. You're welcome teachers!! It's so hard with M. because she can't tell us what hurts. All I know from what I can gather on my own is that she has a constant runny nose...and a horrible cough. Wednesday night I had to watch her because the BF had to work late (poor guy had to work until almost 11). I was tired, but didn't want to go to bed because she wouldn't stop coughing. In tired desperation I pulled out all the stops and tried every "remedy" I had heard of. In case you're playing at home...let me tell you what did NOT work. ALL OF THEM. ie: Vicks Vapor Rub on the bottom of feet with socks. Nope. Check that off the list of successes. Hot water with honey and lemon. Nope...didn't work either. Okay, so how about just honey. Nope...she was still coughing. Finally I settled on some Vicks on her chest. It didn't work either but figured it wouldn't hurt. So much for all those silly "home remedies". the great part about all this is I woke up this morning with a sore throat. I figured it was because I snored a lot last night or something and thought it would go away. No such luck. I have that whole "cloudy, achy head" thing going on...and the sore throat is still there. YIPEE!! Way to spend my weekend. Good thing I don't have any parties...and we are childless.

I signed up about a month ago for email alerts from http://www.bradsdeals.com/. I am not sure who this Brad person is...but he's got some amazing deals on things! I decided to purchase Rolling Stone for $4. Now...this is stupid because over the last couple years, since I actually am more of an avid reader (of books), I have lost my magazine obsession. And...I'm not into rock music so it's kind of pointless. However, I got one yesterday and decided to flip through it. That is when I came across an article that truly made me sick. Normally when I read things that are terribly upsetting it bothers me...but doesn't leave me feeling sick. This article actually turned my stomach. I get that there's always a few bad apples in the bunch...and it shouldn't ruin the reputation of all the good people that are out there. But this is heinous and should be treated as such. Don't talk poorly of a terrorist if you are going to in essence be one. If you choose to read the article, please note there are some very graphic pictures.

I guess that's all for today!

Fantastic Recipe!!

2011-04-26T11:15:00.002-04:00

It's not every day that I try a new recipe and the BF LOVES it. Normally he likes them...but I made one last night and he actually said he wanted it added to the weekly rotation! CRAZY!! I found it from the newest blog I stalk http://www.danicasdaily.com/. Danica is a fellow WW and she always has great recipes! This particular one was made with meatless crumbles...so in that regard I'm surprised the BF raved about it as much as he did. In fact, I don't think he would have been able to tell had I not let him in on the little secret! Are you ready for the recipe??

5 Ingredient Enchilada Skillet

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup onion, chopped
12 oz Morningstar Farms® Veggie Frozen Burger Style Recipe Crumbles
8 corn tortillas, cut into 1 inch squares
8 oz low-fat cheddar or colby cheese
16 oz Enchilada Sauce

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Spray a nonstick skillet with cooking spray and heat over medium heat. Brown onion for 2-3 minutes.
2. Add veggie crumbles, sauce, tortillas and half the cheese. Heat to a boil. Cover and cook for 5 more minutes.
3. Remove from heat and top with cheese.
Makes six 1 cup servings, 5 points+ each

I kind of had to start over this Monday because this weekend wasn't exactly WW friendly. It's so hard when you have no willpower, and the person you live with isn't on a diet...or interested in being on a diet. Don't get me wrong. He WILL eat what I cook...but he doesn't watch what he eats outside of that...so Friday when he said "do you want Mexican"...the no willpower thing go the best of me and I said yes. Oh well...starting fresh as of yesterday.
One of my dear friends is having surgery on Thursday and has asked me if I would come check on her and make sure she's still alive. So of course I said yes. I asked her what she'd like me to bring her to eat...and she said Long John Silvers. I quickly let her know that I must love her because I would never go to LJS while dieting. I LOVE LJS. But, being the good WW that I am, I quickly researched the NI so I too could eat LJS!! I think for one piece of fish and one chicken plank it would be 12 points...so I mine as well just spring for 2 pieces of fish for 14. Of course that only leaves me 15 points for the rest of the day...and with my newest coffee addiction there goes 3...so now I'm at 12. Good thing I haven't used up all my extra points. I'm still waiting for them to come out with the skinny pill. You know...one that's safe and actually works.

I was reading in First Magazine that Whey is the way to go. Ha ha... Apparently whey helps with weight loss. Not sure how reliable that is...but I did find it funny that they did a study and showed that people that drank two meal replacement shakes a day lost more weight than those that didn't. Well no kidding. Of course they lost more weight...they are essentially only eating one meal. That's super for people that don't like food...but then again if you are a person that doesn't like food I doubt you have a weight problem.
Well that's all for now. I get to have my fantastic leftovers for lunch in 15 minutes. Yay!

Come to the darkside...we have grapes!

2011-04-21T15:18:00.001-04:00

I know what you're thinking. Is she seriously going to talk about grapes again?? Yes, but only for a second so its okay. :) It seems I have started quite the following with my grape addiction. I am thinking about starting my own cult. Maybe I'll call it the Concord Cult. And heck, I already live in a commune...or is it a compound?? so I'm one step ahead!! Instead of drinking the Kool Aid we can have grape juice?? Okay, I'll leave that last part out of the deal! You see, every day I bring my precious grapes to work. So one day last week NGB (Nerdy/Geeky Boy...and he will now be referred) was questioning them...so I ~~made him~~ had him try one. And low and behold...my powers of being an evil genius worked...and the next day he actually came and asked me if I brought more. And of course M. is a huge fan. Somewhere, probably on a WW message board, I read that people dip them in sugar free jello and then freeze and it tastes like candy...so I tried it. Let me tell you my discoveries.

1. It stains your fingers (although it was awesome to watch M. eat them last night. It made quite the mess but she enjoyed it...and I enjoyed watching her. (you should have seen her fingers)

2. It tastes like gelatin...not like candy!! IF I ever try this venture again, I will use kool-aid!

Let me just tell you what I made last night. It's actually the second time I have made it but I have perfected my talents!! I found out that dieting doesn't have to suck...there are tasty alternatives...it's just a matter of finding them!! Let me introduce you to my new bff!!

This, my dear readers is a Flatout Pizza! I didn't use the nugget pepperoni...I used real life sized Turkey Pepperoni. So here's what you do.

Heat over to 450. (I made it on a pizza stone so I let that heat up too)
Take a Flatout wrap and and place on stone (or on rack).
Bake for approximately 5-7 minutes (flipping once)
Take out and top with pizza sauce (we used genero spaghetti sauce), next top with turkey pepperoni, and lastly cheese.
I used the low fat mozzarella and also a couple of the babybel bonbels.

I think I probably cooked it for 10 minutes...but until it was all brown and toasty! It was amazing...to the point that I would actually pass up real pizza if Casey got it, and not feel cheated! So good in fact, I'm making it again tonight!

I have a party tonight and one tomorrow. I don't foresee either of them being any good...but hopefully I'll have fun!! I am taking tomorrow off for some much needed R&R...although there won't be much maxin and relaxin because I have a mountain of laundry to catch up on due to the two nights of bed wetting.

Oh...so Saturday night I came home from the not so fun party and I had to feed the cats. So I did. Then I go back out (mind you, it was cold) and there's a raccoon trying to eat their food. I scared him off. Well, I scared him up the tree. That little sucker was NOT afraid of anything. He kept trying to come back. I yelled at him, threw my bubble wand at him...all to no avail. I stayed outside as long as I could stand...and waited for the cats to finish eating. This leads me to my story. About a week ago Casey bought a Raccoon trap. Now before you go oohing and awwwing, those little (although adorable) creatures wreck havoc on our lives. We can't take the trash out because they rip it open and go through it. That is not fun. He set it up Sunday and by Monday he had his first visitor. I didn't get to see it but I saw a picture and it was so cute. I was really hoping to pay my respects to it but his dad had already taken it down by the river (no, not in a Van - only the SNL people will think that's funny) to release it. :( I guess Casey caught another one last night. Poor little guys! I'm torn about my feelings for such an adorable little thing. At least they aren't being harmed. (I don't need any letters from PETA). I like to think of it as Raccoon Witness Protection!

Another day...another dollar (that title has nothing to do with anything)

2011-04-20T13:04:00.001-04:00

So very many things to cover in this post...and so little time. I really think they need to implement a 7 hour lunch break, and one hour of work!! Now THAT would be my kind of day!!

It's day two in the life of a pseudo Weight Watcher. I'm still working on finding filling foods. Just a hint...celery is NOT filling. Plus this whole week my eating schedule has been out of whack because the other girl that is in my office is at the other hospital, so I have to take my lunch an hour later than normal...which I actually prefer, but the hour difference is kind of like jet lag for my tummy! Last night I made a whole chicken in my new Pampered Chef Deep Dish Covered Baker. (In hind sight...and with the diet, I now realize that this was a colossal waste of money) A whole chicken in the microwave for 30 minutes...and poof...it's done. Granted I'm not Martha Stewart, but it was a 5lb chicken, and it surely didn't seem to produce very much meat. BTW...the process of the whole chicken is absolutely disgusting. Almost makes me want to be a vegetarian. Almost, I said!!

Yesterday was all kinds of busy. I got home from work. Boxed up all my Pure Romance packages that I had to send out, printed up labels, and somehow made it to the post office by 6:50 with child in tow. She was very well behaved...but really what kind of shenanigans can one get into at the post office? I actually also received a Pure Romance package of a few things I ordered...and guess what was in the box?? No, I'm not talking about the stuff I ordered. I also got $300 in free product for hitting the fast track level 3. YAY me!!! That is a big accomplishment. That means I have sold over $3600 in 90 days. Not too bad for someone that has very few parties. Level 4, which is the last level is going to be tricky. I think it's $6000 in 120 days.

I mentioned that last night was busy but part of the busyness was doing laundry. M. has wet the bed two nights in a row. This has actually been happening rather frequently lately and we have no idea why. So three loads of laundry later, and I still haven't actually touched the clothes. I think I need to research bed wetting.

I have officially decided tonight I'm not doing ANYTHING. Yep, that's a lie, which I realized as soon as I finished typing that last sentence. I have to do 3 more loads of laundry tonight since she wet the bed again. But, other than that...I'm not doing anything. Besides cooking dinner.

So the girl that doesn't like coffee has a new addition. It's all my co-workers fault for mentioning this. Of course I had to come home and try it...which I ended up making iced...because really if a beverage isn't on it, it's not worth drinking. Needless to say, I'm not addicted. It was so good I fixed one yesterday to take to work. I actually felt full all the way through until lunch yesterday. Does coffee fill you up?? (and just as an FYI I did count the points for it).

I just have to say...you truly don't realize how much actually goes in your mouth until you write down every BLT. No, not the sandwich. Bite, Lick, Taste. So depressing!!! Even my stupid Kool Aid water pack singles are points. :(

I guess that's about all the exciting things I can contain in one post. :) Happy Wednesday!!

Adventures in dieting...and other ranting ramblings...

2011-04-19T15:25:00.000-04:00

Okay so this is technically week two of the big diet adventure...but I'm really saying it's week one since I just officially signed up for WW online yesterday. Man...I haven't mastered the art of feeling full. I have, however mastered the art of feeling like I'm going to gnaw my own arm off. Then again...that would probably be too many points plus. WHY is it so easy to gain wait...and yet so incredibly hard to lose it. And why, oh why must food taste so good?? I have decided to no longer buy things in which I can't stop myself from eating. The problem lies in the fact that I have replaced popsicles with frozen grapes. Good, right?? Seeing as how fruits and veggies are no longer points...I can eat all I want. Nope...that's where it gets ya. You eat until you're satisfied. Okay, so what about when you're in my case...and you're never satisfied?? I could probably eat my way through a vineyard of grapes (wine works too) and still want to eat more. What's funny is we ran out of grapes on Sunday...and I swear it's like I was having withdrawals from frozen grapes yesterday. So much so that I bought three bags at Kroger...and I'll probably go back tomorrow and get more. They are on sale for 98 cents...which is super cheap for grapes. I need to buy a freezer dedicated solely to them. But I guess my problem is...if I'm eating all these grapes...how is it really any better than my plethora of popsicles? Grapes have calories too.

I am trying to eat smaller portions and have periodic healthy snacks throughout the day. Can anyone guess what my afternoon snack consists of?? Grapes?? You guessed it!! Sometimes it consists of string cheese instead. They say protein helps you feel full longer. You know what I think?? I think string cheese is just a tease. Oh well...It will get better...and I know once I drop a pants size, or see a change in the scale I'll feel more encouraged.

So...how does one successfully diet and not want to eat an appendage??

On another note...

Remember the "nerdy/geek" person I wrote that lovely letter to?? Well I have more to say.

Dear "that person",
I understand that you are always out to make yourself look smart...and feel smart. Remember...we have had this discussion of how you put others down to bring yourself up? So...when I read you one of the daily calendar pages from my "Butter my butt and call me a biscuit" calendar, I don't need you to tell me that it's not proper grammar. And let me list the reasons why.

1. The calendar is calendar is called "butter my butt and call me a biscuit". Really...what did you expect.
2. I don't give a flying eff if it's grammatically correct or not.
3. If I wanted to get an english lesson then I would enroll in school...and get a diploma.
4. Remember...there was a time when "OMG", "LOL", "drama queen", "soul patch", "waterboarding", and "unfriend" weren't actually words but guess what...they're now in the dictionary.

Sincerely,
I'm not your student

Pondering...

2011-04-15T16:23:00.000-04:00

I have been pondering a few things...and I have a letter to a no named person.

Let's say you have a friend and they start dating someone. If you and said someone don't get along...OR if the someone doesn't like you...does it matter?? Because a friend said it doesn't matter. This person said I don't have to like the person my friend dates...or that the person doesn't have to like me. I disagree. I feel it's kind of a big deal. Because after all...isn't the beauty of adult friendships to hang out with other couples...generally your friends?? How awkward and terribly unfun is it to hang out with people that don't get along...or who refuse to hang out with you?? Thoughts???

And here's my letter.

Dear self proclaimed "Nerdy Geeky" boy,
I get it. Maybe you were picked on, or bullied in school and now you hate all people you assume are "like" the offender. Well I was picked on too. I know what it's like to come home from school crying every day. I know what it's like to hold on to that hostility. I get it. However, not everyone that is stereotypical "non-nerdy/geeky" person is like that. Not every football player is your stereotypical Jock. Some can actually be nice. However, what I think you fail to realize is that YOU have now become the bully. You are now the picker oner. (I realize that is not a word). You intellectually demean others to make yourself feel better about yourself...at the expense of others. It's not an admirable quality.

I truly know that you are a good person. You actually have times when you are quite enjoyable, and fun, and one could possibly like you as a friend. But for your own sake, and the sake of so many others...stop looking down on everyone that isn't like you.

It's electric...boogy woogy woogy

2011-04-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

You'd think it's winter outside or something but lately my hair has had quite the case of static. I can't so much as run my hand through my hair without looking like I had my finger in the light socket. What is causing all this static? Do I need to start to tumble dry before leaving my house??

But...on another note...I am IN LOVE with a new shampoo and conditioner. You see...I was introduced to Morrocan Oil at my first hair appointment at Flirt Salon. I loved the smell, and how shiney and pretty it made my hair. What I didn't like was the $40 price tag. Well I recently read in one of my many magazines that there is a shampoo and conditioner made with Morrocan Oil...but it's by Organix. It was pricey compared to my normal cheap shampoo...but it left my hair smelling amazing...and oh so shiney!! I highly recommend using this.

And on a slightly random note...I found the most awesome website today. http://www.operationbeautiful.com/

Go there and check it out!!

TSA pat down

2011-04-13T15:51:00.000-04:00

I had to rant about this...and I really didn't know what avenue to do it. Facebook doesn't allow me enough characters for a proper rant! So I saw this clip today. Now, I understand the little girl is 6. And in our country most 6 year olds don't pose a huge threat...although I have seen my fair share of 6 year olds that scare me...but there are some countries where a 6 year old can probably shot a gun...and shoot it well. Here's my issue. In watching the video...I saw nothing inappropriate with the pat down. It was a female TSA agent patting down a little girl. The scene in Crash where the lady get's a pat down...now THAT is going over the line...and that is abuse...but this? Maybe if I were a parent I would feel differently. And I know that I am usually playing the devil's advocate but come on. One person in the message board compared it to rape. SERIOUSLY? In that case. Those TSA agents should ALL go to jail for the rest of their lives...because in a sense they are "raping" every single person they pat down. In all cases, there is a right and wrong way to do things. Had this employee done something that wasn't protical, or had she done something that wasn't standard for all pat downs then I would say yes...be up in arms...but she did her job.

Why is it that the people that complain about things like this are the same people that complain about having to have a body scan. Here's a thought...don't like it...don't fly. Pretty freaking simple. I am sure there are plenty of lovely rental car places that would just love to rent you a nice Ford Taurus. And those same people are the ones that would say the goverment isn't doing their job if a terrorist did get through security and on to a plane and we had ourselves another 9/11.

So let me help you out...Don't want to get a pat down at the airport??

1. Don't fly
2. Find a way to have world peace
3. Drive
4. Take a train. I hear scenery is beautiful this time of year.
5. Take a Greyhound. At least that way you can complain about the person sitting next to you that hasn't showered in a month. But you didn't get a pat down.

I'm off my soapbox now. It's just infuriating to me th at people make life a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

Just in time...

2011-04-07T12:22:00.000-04:00

So Spring has sprung...and so have I. Into action that is. I am officially about the heaviest I have ever been and I am NOT enjoying it. Therefore, I am going to change my lifestyle. Notice I didn't say the dreaded "d" word. It's about eating healthy. I learned over the last three or four days that the key to surviving is:
1. Don't buy things that are low fat that you know you won't limit.
2. Find food and recipes that you will actually enjoy eating. So far I have found several.

See, number one is key because I bought ww ice cream sandwiches...and I had popsicles. However if you eat 8 popsicles (oh that's nothing for me) in one evening then the fact that they have low calories doesn't exactly count...because when you're eating 8 that adds up. I have since decided that when this box of ice cream sandwiches...in all their delicious glory, is gone I won't get anymore. I will just have to find something else to eat...that I may not gorge myself on.

For dinner last night we had quesadillas. I got the idea from here only I used white instead of whole wheat. So basically it's one tortilla (I used the medium size - bigger than taco, smaller than quesadilla), cut up a red pepper (free on ww p+ now), cut up an onion (also free I believe), spinach leaves, ham (I bought the small ham pieces already cut up (it was 4 servings and it was 1.5 grams of fat per serving...so not bad), and the most amazing (seriously...I am SOOOO in love) Babybel Bonbel cheese. Perfectly portioned incredibleness!!! So you cut up the onion and cook until "scorched", then add the ham, and red pepper. Cook about 3 minutes and then put on a plate. Put a tortilla in the pan and put a little of the cheese (the creator of the recipe shredded hers...I just pulled mine apart) on half and top with the spinach (next time I have to figure out a way to wilt my spinach a little so I can add more), then top with the ham and veggie goodness followed by the rest of the cheese. Fold the half that isn't covered over and press down. Then after a couple minutes flip it. Casey loved it. I loved it. I ate it without sour cream...which is a huge deal because I eat a condiment with practically everything. I'm a dipper!!! It was awesome!! Tasted restaurant quality and all low fat. I am LOVING Laughing Cow and all their cheeses.

For lunch today...I have a new favorite sandwich that I got from the same website. She calls it a Poor Mans Egg Sandwich. All you do is take a hard boiled egg and slice it (I really need to get an egg slicer), then take your bread (I used the new sandwich thins...which are great) and put a thin coat of lite mayo. I also put a little mustard...then top with your sliced egg and put salt on it...then put the other piece of bread on top. I hate pepper but most people would want to put salt and pepper on it. It was SO tasty and really not that bad for you. I shall have another tomorrow.

Well that's all for now. Tonight I have to take my dreaded "before" pictures...WORST!!! Oh well...I need motivation!!

Love is in the air...(no, it's not what you think)

2011-03-27T20:14:00.003-04:00

Here are just a few small things I am LOVING on right now.

I am SO loving my UK Wildcats!!! A-MAZING!!! FINAL FOUR BABY!!! We have an Indy team and my team going to the final four. Does it get any better??

I am also loving the fact that I have turned Madison into a Mini-Me. I have not only made her as addicted to pop-ice as me...but I have also made her addicted to frozen grapes!! The best food on the planet. Too bad grapes in excess are so expensive!!! If only I could have my own vineyard. Of course that would mean I would need my own workers too.

I tried a new hair color that I LOVE!! Not necessarily the color...although I do like it a lot...but the fact that it's foam. I had bought the Nice and Easy foam but read horrible reviews about it...so now those two boxes sit on my table. Then I decided on Samy Fat Foam Hair Color...but then I saw John Frieda's Precision Foam...and I got that one too...just to be on the safe side. I used the JF color and it's amazing. Normally when I color my hair I have haircolor all over me...my bathroom, the floor, the shower...every where imaginable. With it being foam, it didn't go anywhere...accept on my hair...where it was supposed to go. And quite possibly the best part is that it has virtually no smell. Normally I almost sufficate when coloring my hair...but not this time.

This next little wonder has surely changed how i feel about laundry. I saw an add for Purex softener crystals that you put in at the beginning of the wash. While at Walmart I decided to give it a whirl. My clothes have NEVER smelled So good. I will be buying this indefinitely. It's simply irrestible.

And while we are on the subject of things at Walmart. Lemishine is the best thing next to sliced bread. It doesn't matter what we do...our water is so hard that it practically is pointless to use the dishwasher. the plates come out looking like they have chalk all over them. You have to hand wash the dishwasher washed dishes. That is...until Lemishine came in my life. I don't know if this stuff has a little bit of built in magic added to it...but it's unbelievable. I can only find it at Walmart...and only at one Walmart. I stocked up this time and bought three bottles. I do NOT want to run out of this again!!!

Lastly...I happened about this Gluten free Casein Free recipe...that was literally so simple I just had to try it...even if it was horrible. Chicken thighs (bone in) and honey. Yep...that's it. Pardon my lack of cooking knowledge, but all you do is take a square baking dish (that's where my lack of knowledge comes in...I have no idea what size the baking dish is). Spray some pam (making sure it's GFCF) in the pan. Pour honey on the bottom to cover the dish. Put the thighs in...skin side down (yes...use the skin...it has healthy fatty acids). Cover with honey. The recipe called for 1/4 cup honey...but I just pour honey all over it until its covered. Cover with aluminum foil. Bake for 90 minutes at 350. I just put it in for 45 minutes, take it out, turn the chicken over and cover with honey, then cover and put back in for 45 more minutes. Now...I have made this recipe twice and both times the sides were incredible. The first time we had this meal I made quinoa. When the quinoa was done cooking I poured in some lemon infused olive oil, stirred and then poured a little of the honey juices in it. Quinoa is a very nutricious super food. The second time I made corn fritter/pancake type things. That was just a box of Jiffy mix, a can of creamed corn, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of sugar. I didn't have enough oil to fry them, so I just put them in a pan like pancakes. I just put them in like pancakes. Once again, I poured some of the honey juices on the corn cakes. So delicious!!!

I think that's all my love for one day.

A letter to all parents…

2011-03-18T13:29:00.001-04:00

The next time you get annoyed at your child for interrupting you while you are on the phone…
Be thankful your child has the ability to talk

The next time your child is whiny because they are sick or their tummy hurts…
Thank God your child can tell you where it hurts.

The next time you complain about having to drive here, there, and everywhere for your children…
Be glad to know that when they are 16 they will be able to drive

The next time your child talks back…
Remember at least you have the chance to hear “I love you” without having to prompt your child.

The next time your kids fight...
Be glad that at least they are socially interacting

You see…it hit me this morning as I was getting ready for work and I heard Madison babbling away in the living room. It was adorable…she was being so “talkative”. And it made me realize how very easy it is to take the simple things in life for granted. I do it all the time.

Granted I didn’t birth her…or hold her in my womb for 9 months…I do help raise her every day. I help give her a bath…and make her hair pretty…so that at least she has one less thing to worry about dealing with during the day. Kids are cruel…and they will only get worse as she ages…so if I can give her every single opportunity to fit in…I’m going to try.

As I said…I’m not her biological parent…but I love her as if she were my own. I’m hard…probably too much so…because I want the absolute best for her. I push her…because I know that with a little prodding she can excel beyond even my own wildest dreams. I know how I feel about her…and I can’t begin to know how hard it is for Casey. It’s heartbreaking to see that your child wants to talk…but can’t. Seeing the tears in their eyes as they try so desperately to pronounce a word. Its torture seeing your child sick…only you have no idea where it hurts and where you can kiss the boo boo…because they can’t tell you. Casey is a saint with her. His patience with her knows no bounds. I’m…well…not so much.

While having an autistic child is challenging beyond imagination…I wouldn’t change her for the world. Would it be nice if she could talk?? Of course…but seeing how she looks at the world is amazing. Seeing from her point of view sheds new light on every day things. And quite frankly…it’s fascinating. She will grow to be a remarkable young lady…and I can’t wait to see what she will accomplish!

Rant-diculous

2011-02-17T15:10:00.002-05:00

I will not have my feelings hurt if NONE of you read this…but I need to vent. Bad!! Days like today I wish I still smoked!

I’m feeling incredibly negative today so here’s just some of the things irking me at the moment.

Dear Copper Wire Steeler: Please do not expect us to feel sorry for you when you get electrocuted to death stealing the wire on top of a building…but thanks for clearing up the city of one less worthless criminal.

Sincerely,
Next time wear rubber shoes

Dear Peyton Manning:
I know that the entire city of Indianapolis thinks you hang the moon. I however am not convinced. If you are so strapped for cash that you have to make the Colt’s pony up more money to keep you then here’s my advice. Start winning the Superbowl every year and earning that big paycheck. That actually goes for all sports people…but I’m talking specifically to you Peyton. Stop asking others who have FAR less money than you to donate to the United Way…when you my friend could buy an entire country. I am pretty sure you could fund the entire United Way for the next 50 years. Stop saying you are here for your fans and the people…not that I’ve actually heard you say that but if you ever have…stop. You’re not here for the fans…you’re here for the money. Meanwhile, the rest of us busting our butts 8-5 52 weeks a year only to live paycheck to paycheck and can’t we still can’t afford your football tickets. So please…by all means…whether you go some place else, or you stay…don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Sincerely,
Frustrated tax payer paying way too much for a stadium I can’t ever afford to go to.

I just want to say that with the growing rate of murders this year in Indianapolis, no one should be surprised. How often is there a murder where the person was actually an upstanding citizen…besides Officer Moore…or the child of someone not quite so upstanding?? If you associate with drug dealers, gangs, gang bangers, rapists, etc…be forewarned that you might end up dead by one of your “friends”. K, thanks!

And one more thing. If I ask you to do something, or for something, and you know you have no intention of fulfilling said request…please just say no thank you or you aren’t interested. If you say yes, I will bug and hound you until said request happens!

Whew…I wish I could say that made me feel better…but it didn’t. I’m still annoyed.

Madison and weekend plans...

2011-01-11T10:25:00.000-05:00

So this weekend was little Miss Madison’s b-day…and we made her sick…which is a good and bad thing. Let me explain. Madison is on a Gluten free, Casein free diet. Essentially she eats no dairy or wheat. We did this because it supposedly helps with Autism. I could definitely see the change from before the diet to after, but we really noticed it this weekend. Casey wanted Madison to be able to have her favorite foods on her b-day…so Friday he stopped and got her McDonald’s – Chicken nuggets and French fries…and a real coke. She would do back flips for McDonald’s French fries. However, assuming that everyone is following her diet, this is the first introduction to gluten and casein she’s had in almost a year. She started stimming a lot…which had decreased a lot since she’s been on the diet. You are probably wondering what Stimming is. Well I was going to copy and paste it all…but that would take up too much room…so if you’re interested in a definition please go here . Saturday was her party, even though Friday was her birthday. So again, she ate stuff not in the diet. And that evening…she had horrible diarrhea. And a LOT of it. So essentially we caused this. That being said…after her bout of diarrhea, she was fine. We did see some behavioral issues as well (she refused to try certain foods...which ever since we started the diet she'll try anything without much protest...she might not like it...but she'll try it, she would cry over nothing, she would get mad over little things). When there is an infraction you typically see things for 2-4 days…so I’m REALLY hoping it goes away after all this is over.

I bought Madison some rice milk so that she gets some calcium since she can’t have dairy. I tasted it first…and I’m not really a milk person. It was actually quite good. At dinner she would take drinks without a problem however she didn’t finish it…so I put it in the fridge and asked Casey to make sure she drank it before she went to bed. I have my book club this weekend so I went to bed to read about 8:15…and I heard Casey tell her she had to finish the milk before she went to bed. Apparently she took a sip…and spit it on the carpet…on purpose. This is a typical “let me see how far I can push you” thing for Madison to do. You know…kind of like when she sticks her stuffed animals in the toilet (with clean water) so they can go for a swim…or maybe it’s because she doesn’t care for those certain toys…not real sure. She’s definitely a master in button pushing…then again…I live with her father…so I see where she gets it. On a positive note…she has stopped biting other kids in her class. She’s taken a kinder, gentler approach…now she is biting herself. Oy…this is so hard. I know some people have it much worse…and I don’t know how they handle it.

On a totally unrelated note…I was reading a book awhile back and the character in the book starts talking about how instead of calling an object by the objects name, they call it by the brand name…and I thought to myself…I do that ALL the time. So here’s my list…It’s not quite as long as I had envisioned.

What I call it vs. What it really is
Band-Aid - Bandage
Ace Bandage - Anything in that nude color that you wrap around your knee, etc.
Advil - (Any pain reliever…I will call it advil and get annoyed when the person says “I don’t have an Advil but I have Ibuprofen”)
Jello - Gelatin
Kleenex - Facial Tissue
Scotch Tape - Any of the clear tape
Post-Its - Sticky square piece of paper for notes
Match Box Cars - Any small metal car

Hmmm, I guess that’s all I can think of. I really felt like I did it more often.

Wanna know what I’m doing this weekend?? Well, I’d love to tell you but my two amazing friends refuse to tell me. You see, we’re going someplace. A destination within 4 hours away…but that’s all I know. This is supposed to be teaching me to live in the moment and that I don’t have to plan EVERYTHING. Granted I have a tendency to plan every situation (down to how every second of the situation will go) I really don’t think that taking ALL control out of my life is fair. So what they are really teaching me is the art of revenge…because oh yes…revenge will be mine!

Random acts of kindness...

2011-01-06T08:58:00.002-05:00

You know…with the conditions of the world as they are, it makes you lose faith in humanity. I mean, is anyone a good person anymore?? Indianapolis has 5 murders already…and it’s only the 6th day of the New Year. What is wrong with this world…and then something good happens…and it restores your faith. Someone does something completely selfless and unnecessary and it makes you realize that there are still good people in this world.

About a month ago I made a Facebook post about Reese and how she ate my new, and favorite lip balm. The lip balm is from a small company up in the New England area and I’ve been in love with her lip balms ever since I was a member of her lip balm of the month club. I am all about supporting smaller businesses…and her stuff rocks. Anyway, it was not two weeks after I got this lip balm…and then Reese jail breaks her cage and eats the entire thing…although she did leave me the tube as a parting gift. So last night I’m sitting in bed and Casey brings me the mail…and there was an envelope with something in it. I opened the envelope and inside was a card…from Emily Caswell. A very sweet card, with a very sweet note…along with 2 of my favorite flavor lip balms. Apparently her best friends dog also is a big fan of her stuff. Who knew dogs loved lip balm. She saw from my Facebook post that Reese ate mine and she wanted me to have those. It was such a small thing, but it meant so very much to me. She didn’t have to do that. For all I know she didn’t see the FB post. She didn’t have to give me anything…but she did. And I truly believe she expected nothing in return. It really made my day!!

My little birdies...

2011-01-04T09:07:00.000-05:00

So I found this new template designer that offers free templates...which is VERY hard to find...and her work is great. However, is it just me or are my birdies cut off?? All I see are there itty bitty legs. :( Hopefully it's just me, but I'm sure it's not.

I got a new phone over the weekend. I have been waiting in anticipation for about 4 months...or ever since I washed my Blackberry in the washing machine. Turns out those things don't much care for water. I've been using a loaner ever since then...which was a decent phone...but definitely not what I wanted for the long run. I have had my eye on the HTC Evo for quite some time but had never seen it in person. We stopped at the Sprint store New Years day on the way home from Lexington. Much to my chagrin, it was HUGE. GINORMOUS!! Then again, I was going from the smallest Smartphone on the market, to this...phone...that could be mistaken for a Tablet. Yikes! Apparently the phone comes in white or black. Man, I didn't know I was going to have to make choices...I was SO not prepared for this. Normally I would have mulled this over in my head for weeks...and I'd probably have changed my mind 27 times too...but this time was not the case. I opted for White...because it just seemed more girlie. The rest of Saturday was consumed with becoming one with the phone. I think I have finally mastered it. Well, sort of anyway. Casey was wonderful enough to buy the phone for me...and of course I have the stupid mail in rebate...which is such a joke. Making me do work to get my money back. Pfft!

So, I have decided to take up a new hobby. I am going to become a professional amateur photographer. AKA an amateure picture taker. I have always had this inner passion for taking pictures...as all my friends can attest by my need to take a picture of everything...but this time I'm going to actually try and get good with it. I'm reading up on tips and tricks. I know that the first thing I need to do is learn my camera inside and out. I tried doing that but the battery was dead...so I guess I will have to wait until tonight. I need to know all there is about it to fully get the most out of each picture. So if you see me walking around taking a picture or something you might find odd...just wait...I could be in the next National Geographic.

It's all about Meme...

2010-12-27T14:10:00.001-05:00

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family? Reese is a member of my family

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be? To be truly happy

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? Ignorance

4. What would you do with a billion dollars? A wholllllleeeeeee lot!

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood? Generally my friends

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? For me it’s being loved by someone

7. What is your bedtime routine? Go potty, wash my face, brush my teeth, hook up my amazing heating, prop up my fifteen reading pillows, get in bed, put on chapstick, put in allergy nose spray, put in eye drops, ear plugs in, read until sleep, go potty again, get back in bed, turn off light.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner? Yes, and at my former job (building actually)

9. If you could watch an creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be? Probably a songwriter because it’s so amazing to me. Maybe Taylor Swift.

10. What kinds of books do you buy? Novels mainly. Not that romance crap.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time? Who knows…because had you asked me that 10 years ago it would be a much different answer than my life really is.

12. What’s your fear? Never having my own child

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? I stole this so N/A

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor? Happily married and poor. If it was unhappily married and poor then I’d rather be single and rich!

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Curse at my alarm!

16. Would you give all in a relationship? I always do, just sometimes it’s not good enough

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be? First name is fine, but if you’re feeling imaginative, you can do the whole thing. I’m quite partial to my name. Sarah.

18. What’s your favorite magazine? Redbook or Good Housekeeping

19. What are your three most important expectations in love? Honestly, loyalty, Respect

20. List people to tag:

50 Questions Meme

2010-12-27T10:36:00.002-05:00

50 Questions:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I actually don’t think I had a thought this morning…but my recent thoughts have been “man I need to lay off the chocolate covered peanuts…this is the biggest I’ve ever been.

2. How much cash do you have on you? I have change…not cash. Wait…I might have a dollar.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Whore…just kidding!! Floor

4. Favorite planet? Well I was partial to Pluto but it had to go and screw everything up by becoming a non-planet!

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My Momma

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? They are all crap!!

7. What shirt are you wearing? A black long sleeve shirt and a fuchsia vest

8. Do you label yourself? Not anymore

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? Something from Target

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark room

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Well I stole it from someone’s blog online…so I can’t really tell you what I think of them.

12. What does your watch look like? It’s a Timex sports watch…cause I’m so sporty!

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? “Yes, that is fine”

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? The only one I know of is at Pendleton Pike and Post. Not a desirable neighborhood!!

16. What's a word that you say a lot? “I know, right” That’s actually three words…but go with it.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Casey

18. Last furry thing you touched? Reese

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? LOTS!! None of the illegal kind however.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Believe it or not, I have several that are probably over 10 years old.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? Oh my, I don’t know. I like the 30’s.

22. Your worst enemy? Myself at times

23. What is your current desktop picture? Snow flakes

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? I was talking about Christmas presents

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? A million bucks…cause I could buy an airplane if I wanted to fly.

26. Do you like someone? Yes

27. The last song you listened to? Crap…I don’t know.

28. What time of day were you born? Crap again…I don’t know. Morning I think.

29. What’s your favorite number? 5

30. Where did you live in 1987? Lexington

31. Are you jealous of anyone? Yes

32. Is anyone jealous of you? No

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? I was working at Aston Group

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Probably spout some obscenities.

35. Do you consider yourself kind? Yes

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Some place not visible.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Spanish would probably be the most useful.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? Yes

39. Are you touchy feely? I used to be. I still like touch.

40. What’s your life motto? Carpe Diem

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times? Chapstick, phone, a beverage

42. What’s your favorite town/city? I really like Charlotte and Savannah

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Chick Fil A

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? It’s been so long I can’t remember.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? Nope, but I can change a tire.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? My first real love…well I live with him. My first high school love where the feelings weren’t mutual…he’s a wrestling coach at my HS.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? I was related to John Quincy Adams…that’s pretty far.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? Apparently it’s been awhile…

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? Nope

50. Have you been burned by love? Yep

Adventures in cooking…

2010-12-27T09:46:00.000-05:00

You know, I decided a few things this weekend. I enjoy cooking if only:

1. I was rich. Cooking is expensive and eating out is so much cheaper.

2. I had a bigger kitchen. I tend to be like a tornado so I leave a mess in my wake…and I need space.

3. I had all the pots, pans, and utensils I needed. It’s a breeze when you have all those things…not so easy breezy when you don’t.

I also decided it’s a REALLY bad idea to read food blogs when you’re hungry. It ranks right up there with going grocery shopping when you’re hungry…only it may be worse because everything I read about sounds good then I decide to go to the store and get it all to make! Darn you food bloggers!!!

I was going to make a nice Bolognaise, but a good bolognaise is time consuming…and expensive to boot, so I went with a simple tomato sauce recipe…and by simple I mean literally 3 ingredients! That’s it. It was good…and truly simple but maybe a bit too simple. It was amazing with garlic bread however!! I stumbled on this recipe after researching restaurants in Lexington because I found this blog and in that blog I found this post It was truly intriguing. However, while I was at the store I remembered this recipe so how could I resist a good chocolate chip pecan pie. As if I needed to get any bigger. BUT…since my New Years resolution is to eat better (not diet…eat better…healthier…smarter) I figured I’d end the year with a bang!! Eat all the crap I can get my hands on now while the getting is good! As I’m checking out I can’t figure out how my grocery bill could be so astronomical…because I think I could have checked out in the 15 items or less line and been okay…until I realized that pecan pies are a tad bit expensive…and by tad I mean a lot! I added a little bourbon to the pie to make it a little more Kentucky. And I even used a KY bourbon to make it authentic. It was good but I think maybe a little runny. Although apparently you have to let a pecan pie cool…and I was maybe a tad impatient. Casey said it was great though…he even told me to save the recipe. I guess that's a good thing. I will have to decide for myself. :)

Chicken Enchiladas...YUMMO!!!

2010-12-22T10:00:00.000-05:00

Fantabulous Chicken Enchiladas

Okay, so I found this amazing recipe for Chicken Enchiladas. I would say everyone should give it a whirl…although I did change it every so slightly…so I’ll give you my version.

• Three cans ( I used Old El Paso) of mild green enchilada sauce
• One 12.5 oz can of canned CHICKEN…which might be my new favorite thing.
• A 8 oz bag of monteray jack/Colby mix and a 8 oz back of pepperjack cheese.
• Corn or flour tortillas (fajita size)

• Mix about ½ of both cheese with half a can of the enchilada sauce and the can of chicken.
• Pour the other ½ can of (just one of the cans of sauce) the sauce on the bottom of your pan. I think I used an 8x8 pan. It was square...that’s all I know.
• Warm your tortillas (I used corn) in the microwave for about 15 seconds – until warm.
• Take some of your mixture and put it in the tortilla and roll it like you would an enchilada and place in the plan. Continue to do so until you fill your pan.
• Cover with remaining two cans of sauce and remaining cheese. (I only covered with 1 ½ cans of the sauce since my pan was smaller than what the original recipe called for but left the cheese the same.
• Heat in oven on 325 for 20-25 minutes. At the end of cooking I turned my heat up a little to brown the cheese then I turned the broiler on to brown the top…that is just a personal preference.

I also served with Sour Cream. It was delicious and super duper easy!!!!! I would say it was AS good as I have had in restaurants!

BBQ Pork

2010-12-20T11:51:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend we hosted a Christmas Vacation Christmas Party. I debated for several days about what to fix and finally decided on Pulled BBQ Pork in the Crockpot. I got the recipe off of Food.com, formally Recipezaar.com. I love that site. At first I had some sticker shock from the meat - $18 for almost 11 pounds. Basically the recipe is the following:

4 lbs pork shoulder or butt (As you can see I upped the meat quantity so I upped the other ingredients too)
2 Lg onions sliced
1 cup of Ginger ale

Put in Crockpot and cook for 12 hours on low. I put it in before bed and let it cook overnight...which was fine if you don't mind waking up to the smell of meat...which at 7:15 in the morning isn't the most pleasent smell. After the 12 hours, you drain all the juice (from the melted fat, and ginger ale) but before you do that you save the onions. Next you pull the pork apart...which after 12 hours the pork is the most amazingly tender, juicy piece of meat you'll ever consome. After you've pulled the pork you add an 8 oz bottle of BBQ sauce and continue to cook on low for 1-2 hours. I did this slight differently than the recipe called for but it was still delicious.

So, as for the sticker shock...Yes it was $18...but I put two meals worth in two different ziplock bags. Plus we had it at the party. Plus we had it for lunch and dinner last night. So, for $18 we're essentially getting several meals out of it. And it was amazing. A-Maze-Ing!!! I love my crock pot!!!!

In the words of Yo Gabba Gabba..."try it, you'll like it." or "There's a party in my tummy, so yummy so yummy"

Have a great Monday!!

100 things I'd tell my younger self...

2010-12-20T09:02:00.000-05:00

Originally this was supposed to be 100 things I'd tell my younger self...but I'm drawing a blank...so feel free to comment if you have anything you'd like to add.

100 Things I’d tell my younger self if I could go back in time…

1. Don’t take yourself so seriously
2. Laugh at yourself
3. When something upsetting happens, ask yourself “will this really matter in five years from now?”
4. Don’t get down when “you’re the only girl in High School without a boyfriend. The right one will come along when you’re 31.”
5. Don’t get married to get married. Get married because you’re madly in love.
6. Don’t be in a rush to grow up. Being a grown up comes with responsibilities – Work, Bills, more bills.
7. Write in a journal about your day…because a time will come when you won’t remember.
8. Remember…it’s okay to be empathetic and a bleeding heart.
9. Volunteer and help others…it will make you feel better about yourself.
10.When things are going wrong in your life, and you think that nothing worse cold happen…be thankful for all the good you do have in your life because someone out there has it much much worse.
11.Don’t let the comments of a bully effect who you think of yourself. You are wonderful just the way you are.
12.Remember…when you see something cool that you absolutely must have…restrain yourself because once you get it something even cooler will come along – this generally happens as soon as you buy the latest and greatest cell phone.
13.Be kinder to your parents. Don’t give them such a hard way to go. Sometimes they actually do know what they are talking about.
14.Do your best in school. Believe it or not, it really does matter later in life even if you don’t think so at the time.
15.The saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” isn’t always true.
16.Be thankful for what you have rather than jealous of what you don’t.
17.When your elders say “if only I knew then what I know now.” And then proceed to give you advice of what you should do…you might want to actually listen…because generally they are right.
18.Remember, that everyone is someone’s daughter, son, mother, or father. So even the bad people in the world is someone special to someone.
19.Never settle in life. You can do anything you put your mind to.
20.Never stop dreaming.
21.The ‘love’ that you see all your friends having in high school for their boyfriends and girlfriends really isn’t love…it’s some other thing entirely. You don’t really know what love is at such a young age.
22.There is nothing wrong with giving a homeless person some money. 9 out of 10 might just use it to buy alcohol…but that 1 person might really need it.
23.Don’t ever be a cynic.
24.If you’re truly passionate about the work you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.
25.You can’t save all the homeless animals…even though you’ll want to.
26.It’s very easy to be really bad with money, so try and keep a handle on yourself. That whole “credit rating” thing really is true!
27.Learn to cook from your mother…even if she doesn’t want you in the kitchen getting in the way! Her recipes are priceless and no one makes food like she does!
28.If you’re sick…go to the doctor…don’t put it off.
29.Dare to be different. Don’t be like everyone else…even if people look at you funny!
30.When you think you’re fat…you’re not. When you get older you’d kill to be the size you are now!
31.College really is important. You can be successful without, but go while you’re younger. Its much harder the older you get.
32.Negativity breeds negativity. Try and stay positive.
33.It really is OK to say no at times.
34.It’s okay to be sensitive.
35.Fad diets are called that for a reason. And they never work longterm.
36.Don’t try to be something you’re not, just for the sake of pleasing someone.
37.Take care of your teeth. Brush and floss daily. You’ll thank me later!
38.Never be afraid to try new foods. Try it, you’ll like it!
39.Internet dating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!
40.Give blood more…people need it!
41.Telling the truth, while it may hurt someone is better than a lie any day!
42.It’s okay at times to be a little naïve…but don’t believe everything people tell you.
43.If you’re going to move, move some place warm!
44.Use your God given talents. He gave them to you for a reason!
45.Don’t drink and drive. It’s not worth the risk.
46.Hatred only makes you more miserable…and tired. It takes a lot out of you to hate someone!
47.Go to church more than just Christmas and Easter.
48.The sanctity of marriage is special, and should be valued. Don’t ever let anyone say that marriages can’t last.
49.Try to learn to have patience. It’s hard but very needed.
50.Rather than dreading having to go out in the cold to go to the 11:00 pm Christmas Eve service…enjoy it. You’ll really appreciate it when you’re older.
51.Watch less TV – there’s more to life.
52.Go to more concerts. You love music! Nothing can top a live performance!
53.The world doesn’t revolve around you! Hard to believe…I know!
54.Be more open minded. You might actually like a movie you refuse to watch!
55.Just because it’s “new” and “shiny” doesn’t mean you have to buy it!
56.Take care of the things you have.
57.Don’t ever do drugs (your older self never did and isn’t missing a thing).
58.Don’t ever start smoking – Quitting is a real pain. It will make you grumpy and irritable…and no one wants that…plus it really makes you stink!!
59.Don’t be so opinionated.
60.Never judge
61.Never say never because you just don’t know!
62.Dream Big!
63 Someday someone is going to tell you something about yourself and you’ll get mad, and it will hurt, and sting…but remember…the truth hurts. Instead of getting mad, absorb what was said and try to fix it

Weekend plans...

2010-11-05T09:45:00.000-04:00

So yeah...remember that one time I said I was going to blog every day in November?? Well needless to say...that went over like a lead balloon.
Anyway...I am so excited for this weekend. My bestie, and a new found friend/co-worker and I are going on a mini-weekend girls trip. We're heading to Cincinnati tonight and staying in a hotel...which I got for $33. Yes folks...that's right. I'm cheap. I think as it stands anyway we're going to try Terry's Turf Club for dinner. It was featured on my favorite show - Diners, Drive-In's, and Dive's. Here's a link to the clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WESHHxN8ObM It looks yummy. I also have been corresponding with a food blogger in Cinci and she says it's awesome!! After dinner it's wine and movies in the hotel. Juno is a pick, and who knows what else. I'm so excited!!

Tomorrow is the real reason for this excursion. Off to Ikea we go. Granted I'm only going for a pillow but I know there will be so much more there for me. I can't wait. And I'm so lucky that I have such an amazing boyfriend...that not only encourages me to do stuff with my friends...but he gave me money. How awesome is he???

I'll be taking a ton of pictures so I'll have a follow up blog with those.

Have a great weekend!

NaBloPoMo

2010-10-29T10:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm doing it. I'm committing myself to the WHOLE month of November. We'll see anyway.

Stay Tuned!!

Madison Makeover - 10-2-10 (15 photos), by Sarah Stallard

2010-10-02T21:19:00.001-04:00

I'd like to share my Snapfish photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share.
Click here to view photos

2010-09-23T13:21:00.002-04:00

I’m simply addicted to reading. That’s all there is to it. Ever since I received the Kindle I can’t put it away. I brought my lunch two days this week so I could read and ran downstairs and got something and brought it back today so I could read again. I’ve given up lunch with people…for reading. In fact, I haven’t watched hardly any tv. Casey and I watched a couple shows last night but I was still in bed by 8:30 to read.

We have had quite the week with Madison. She lost a tooth yesterday which Casey attributes to her bad behavior at school. I think she’s brought home a Red every day this week (which is NOT good). We have tried everything short of stringing her up by her toes on the light pole and NOTHING is working! It’s so frustrating. I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that she’s smarter than all of us and there’s nothing we can do. And she’s a sneaky little thing. She stole some poor kids cheerio’s two days ago (which she’s not supposed to have because they have gluten) and then this morning she snuck into the kitchen and tried to pilfer the candy corn. She’s also continued her fascination of picking the paint off her bedroom walls. To that I have also resigned myself. Now I’m trying to figure out what I can put on her walls that she can’t pick at. Would it be bad to have a childs room that has metal walls?? A nice sheet metal?? Surely she couldn’t pick through that…right?? And of course everything she picks at goes into her mouth. Apparently purple paint must taste SUPER GOOD because she has eaten enough of it to paint a whole other room. Ahhh the joy of children.

So last night I decided to perform surgery and it went very badly. The reason for the surgery in the first place was because my momma said it was very hard to hear me on the phone. I agree with this because at my old job someone had the phone that I am currently using and I hated talking to him on the phone. As a result of this, I decided to resuscitate my first Blackberry…since the last one took a swim. This was supposed to be an easy procedure…outpatient if anything. All I had to do was take off the screen, blow the dust out, and put the screen back on. I saw a dude do it on youtube and it looked like a piece of cake. Apparently, I am no dude on youtube because as I tried to pry the screen up, I ended up scratching the inside screen. At this point, I now realize that the phone was no longer salvageable, so I moved it into my phone morgue and started dissecting it for research. Well in the course of opening the phone up…the plastic sliced my finger open. Casey came to my aide with a Super Mario Bros. bandage and all was right with the world again. Now it’s Casey’s turn to perform surgery as I have a phone from work that was given to me that I could use to replace the piece of crap phone I have now…but it needs a new operating system…so if Casey can fix it then I’m good.

2010-09-19T10:28:00.000-04:00

Not much to report this week...as you can tell by the lack of bloggage. :) I'm awake at 8:27...that right there is something to report. Little girl wet the bed so she and I are hanging out. Actually she's eating dry cereal and I'm writing this.

One thing new is that Casey bought me a Kindle. I LOVE it. I didn't realize how bad the IPod made my eyes hurt. I do remember thinking several times when reading books on my ITouch that I thought my eyes were getting bad. I admit. I was skeptical of the Kindle. I thought it was silly...until I realized how much easier it was for me to read a book electronically. For those that have never seen a Kindle, it's kind of impossible to explain. The pages looks fake. It looks like a real book. In fact, when I turned it on for the first time and the screen came up I tried to peel what I thought had to be a sticker off the front becasue there was no way that it was the actualy screen. It's amazing!!!!

I am at my wits end with Madison. No, not with Madison...more with Madison's mom. Two weekends in a row she has come home with a small rash right on her chest. Now, a rash could be anything...but I suspect it's a rash from having been fed either something with gluten or casein...and that will typically cause a rash on the child. I have seen soooo much progress in her from before we started the diet. She's a totally different child. Before she wouldn't eat, or even try ANYTHING that wasn't hot dogs, chicken nuggets, or french fries for dinner. She did eat vegetables, and fruit but she wouldn't dare eat spaghetti, pork, grilled chicken, etc. Now she'll eat whatever we give her. Granted there is often still hesitation...and a lot of the time she doesn't like what she's given. She is not a fan of hummus or sauerkraut but she would eat it. She doesn't stare off into space like she used to. She will maybe a little bit but she is much more in the present and far less in a fog. Before the diet she would run home and change into her pj's. She refused to wear her normal clothes when she was home. She definitely wouldn't sleep in clothes. Now she keeps her normal clothes on until bath time and she sleeps in clothes. Before this diet she wouldn't take cough syrup (I can't blame her there...I won't either), or any medicine unless it was mixed VERY well in a drink...and even then she'd spit it out half the time. Now she'll drink it straight out of the cup...again, she doesn't like it but she does it. She's talking so much more now...and her pronounciation is far more clear. Her dark circles are not nearly as bad as they used to be...and they're usually only bad when she hasn't slept - ie: when she goes to her mom's house. So the changes are outstanding. Now, that being said...keeping her on this diet is very hard. We have to read every single label. It's time consuming and expensive since most of the things she can eat are way more pricey than a normal processed food. Her supplements are expensive. If we gave her every supplement she needs we would easily spend between $100-$150 a month for her supplements alone. This is a lot of money...which we have no problem paying for the betterment of Madison...however when I feel like her mom isn't following the diet it makes me want to quit. The diet is no good to Madison unless its followed 100% percent, 100% percent of the time. If you give a child that's allergic to peanuts, peanut butter guess what...it's going to have an adverse affect. Would you give a diabetic a candy bar? Would you give a recovering alcoholic a beer?? Well the answer to all these questions is no...not if you want them to live, and you want them to be healthy. If only I could shelter her at all times and keep all the bad things away...this would be a lot easier.

Well I guess that's all I have for right now.

Weekend...

2010-09-10T08:54:00.001-04:00

This weekend we don’t have Madison so I really wanted to do something special. Oh crap…that requires money…and robbing a bank is hopefully not in my immediate plans. So…that means no traveling, or mini-weekend vaca. But in an attempt to make the most of the weekend regardless we will still have fun stuff to do. For starters…Casey and I will have our weekly Friday date night. Normally this just consists of going out to dinner. But we’ll probably stop at Longs and get our weekly crème horns too. I told him that we can’t keep spending $20 in pastries but maybe as a tradition we can each get 2 and we can enjoy them all weekend. There’s a little (and I mean LITTLE) hole in the wall place called Heine’s Famous Roast Beef. We were going to try it last weekend but decided on Texas Roadhouse instead thinking we’d go there Sunday. Well Sunday it was closed. So we’ll do that, and then get our pastries…and then…I’m going to bake. Yes, bake. A girl at work brought in a Heath Bar Cake for someone’s birthday tonight and I carried it for her. She’s lucky it’s still in the pan because I was pretty sure I was about to demolish it. So now I have to try to make it. My momma has made it and OMG it’s amazing!!! Yep…WW will be calling me for a membership when my weekend has concluded!!!

Then Saturday we’re driving up to Tipton to see my bff Michelle and her kids. Tipton’s about an hour away, so I guess it’s a mini road trip. It’s the Tipton Pork Festival. Yee Haw!! Do you know what this means???? It means LOTS of carny fair food. I can’t wait! Fair food is the best!!! I must consume at least one funnel cake, one buttered ear of corn, and I reckon one pork chop sandwich…since it is the PORK festival. Oh yeah…and I can’t forget that I will also be eating some cake!!! Seriously, I’m going to be the next Jenny Craig spokesperson after this weekend.

Who knows what Sunday will consist of? I have so much laundry to do. I’m pretty sure my laundry is procreating. It’s ridiculous. Maybe I’ll do some corn crafts now that I have a tiny strainer to help with my painting corn plan. We’ll see. I could stand to clean the house. And after all that is done, I will continue on my quest to read. I’ve kind of been addicted to reading lately…although this next months book for book club is kind of sucky…so I’m trying to power through it so I can read a book I actually want to read. I don’t know what that is yet…but I will figure it out if I ever get there.

I created a monster in Casey. I made the mistake of saying he should watch Lost on Netflix because he said he had watched the first 2-3 episodes of season 1 when it first came out. So now he watched all of season 1 in a week and is almost done with season 2. Its nuts!!! He’s addicted!!! I just want him to hurry up and get to Season 5 where I left off so I can catch up.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Word of the day rant...

2010-09-08T16:03:00.000-04:00

Word of the Day…Sabateur.

Definition: When you and your boyfriend put your little one on a special diet that includes no Gluten or Casein (Dairy) and the grandmother makes muffins, with butter…which last time I checked is a dairy product…and then gets mad at the son because who won’t let her have them because in the grandmother’s way of thinking “a little bit won’t hurt her.”

Grrrrrr. What part of NO is so darn complex.

Second Word of the Day = Frustrated
Definition: ME!

Stay tuned for more fun words of the day, I’m sure!!

2010-09-07T14:49:00.000-04:00

At what age should a child be able to write their letters clearly? Madison can’t write her letters at all. Okay, she can write them, just not well. And let me say, it’s not that she CAN’T…its that no one has ever made her do it neatly. After Casey and I sitting with her for an hour working on the letter “A” I can’t help but feel like her school, and her teachers are failing her. Granted she’s in a special education class, but she’s not incapable of learning and I feel like her teachers really must feel like these kids are never going to learn anything so why try…let’s just get them through school. Now before I go placing all the blame on the teachers, it’s equally our fault because we haven’t worked with Madison at home. I’ve been so focused on getting her to talk, and pronounce her letters that I haven’t even bothered to notice that she can’t write properly. It’s so frustrating. She needs to be in a specialized school…oh wait…that requires money. So I have decided if the school won’t teach her, we will. I think the part that gets me the most angry is the fact that I KNOW how smart she is. She’s so capable. But, she’s a 7 year old that is going to try and get away with doing things half way. What 7 year old doesn’t?!?!

Yesterday we went out in the corn field and picked up the corn that wasn’t collected. I’m going to try my hand at decorating. We de-kernelled the corn and it’s all in a big container. My idea was to get several fall colors of paints and dip them in paint and then fill glass jars with the different colors. However, I can’t figure out how to bring my idea to life. I was originally thinking of getting a sieve, like the kind you would use to sift powdered sugar so that the paint would drip off, but not too much…but I don’t have a sieve. Hmmmm…now I’m perplexed. I hate that I can see in my mind what I want the end result to be I just can’t figure out the equation to get there.

Why is it with every good thing, there’s a downfall? I quit smoking. Yay. However the pills I take to help me quit give me a headache, so I have a headache ALL DAY LONG. I am going on my 4th day of a headache. And I haven’t had any cravings, accept the first day, so I feel “cured”…but I don’t know if I stop taking the medicine if the cravings will come back. I was told by someone at lunch today that I need to take it for at least 3 months. Let's see...paying $65 a month for a medicine that makes me want to cut my head off. Good plan.

I started my next months book club book. It’s called A Stranger Like You by Elizabeth Brundage. I’m not sure how I’m going to feel about it. The first couple pages were just okay…but I should probably give it a little more than a few days I guess. At least I finished my first book club book…which is a feat all in itself!

So about two months ago, I decided to break a behavior that I've had my whole life. I have been a habitual nail biter since the beginning of time. If there was any white on the nail it didn't really stand much of a chance at existance. It's a nervous habit...and yes I realize how disgusting it it. And for two months I have done so well. But...I am not sure how much longer I can go without smoking, biting my nails, and trying not to pack on 50 pounds from quitting smoking.

2010-09-05T20:58:00.000-04:00

Fall is finally upon us. Although I guess technically Fall hasn't fallen yet. I am loving the weather, I just wish we had some rain. The trees are going to skip the pretty fall leaf step and go straight to the falling off tree stage. That's one of the best parts of fall is the colors on the trees. It's bitter sweet, the ending of summer. While fall is great, it means that the warm weather will be going away and the cold will be here before we know it. Such is life I suppose.

And for once in my life…I’m completely at peace. Maybe “peace” isn’t the exact word, but I can’t really find any other that’s a better fit. I am finally at the point in my life where I want to be. I have an amazing boyfriend that would do anything for me. I have FINALLY found the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. For better…and for worse.

I also have acquired a darling daughter-ish. While she’s not my own child, I raise her just like she was. She has made me question my ability to raise a child…which is one of two dreams I’ve had my whole life. It’s so much harder than babysitting. It's an every day challenge, and she tests me every single step of the way. Despite that, I really want me own...in addition to her. That whole biological clock ticking thing isn't just a myth. It's true. I just want to experience it for myself. While having Madison is wonderful, and I love her like she's my own daughter I think, in fact I know it would be different if she was my own. It's hard with Madison because I have no real say. Casey is great about listening and taking my opinions into consideration, but in the grand scheme of things, I can't really control much of anything. I'm not her real mom. It's a frustrating battle.

Reese is still great...although she has a new favorite parent. She has totally taken to Casey. I'm pretty convinced she loves him more than she loves me. :( Then again...he is the one that always lets her lick his plate...so how can a dog that's obsessed with food not love him.

Randomness...

2010-05-30T21:28:00.001-04:00

Well I have had my first dose of sunburn for the summer. And boy is it pretty. It's all splotchy...from where I put sunscreen on the kids I baby-sat...and then some must have gotten on me. So I'm part white...part sunburned. My friend I babysat for said "Sarah...what is your background...are you Irish". I said "no, my background is pale." And really after sitting in the sun today I realized...I'm almost transparent I'm so white. Last weekend we went to a friends house and one of my friends that I hadn't seen in awhile said "Gizmo, I really didn't think it was possible to be any more pale than you were...but somehow you succeeded...you are even whiter than before.

I babysat a 3, 5, and 7 year old...and boy do kids say the darndest things. I let the kids play in the sprinkler outside. I asked Myles if it was cold. His response "yeah, can you turn on the hot water". So cute!!! The 3 year old said "look at the duck with long legs" talking about the blue heron at their lakeish thing. Not really a lake, not really a pond. Back to the sprinkler...I forgot how much fun kids could have in a sprinkler. Seriously, hours of entertainment in a mechanism that sprays water. And it was just a lawn sprinkler...but that was plenty for the kids.

Speaking of kids...my biological clock is about to explode. (sorry mom...but I'm not getting any younger). Casey and I have talked about kids names. Oh...no, I'm not preggers...just thinking ahead. I don't want the typical "trendy" name for my children. I have always been partial to Jackson, and Emma...cause of course I'm going to have a boy and a girl. :) I like Jackson Edward (after my grandpa), but we also like Charles Jackson (after Casey) but of course he'll go by Jack. We've added some other names. I also like Ava, Sloan (for a girl), Chase, Cooper, Miles, Sawyer, Harper, Abigail, Ella, Grace, Avery (a current favorite), Stella, and Elise. A blog friend just had a baby and they named her Emerson. I LOVE that, but we couldn't have an Emerson and a Madison (we already have Madison) because those are two fairly big street names on our side of town...and I wouldn't want people thinking we named our kids after streets. I also LOVE Mason but Casey has Veto'd that. I told him he doesn't get a say since he's already had one child...that's all the say he gets. I'm kidding of course but he has to realize...this is what I've always dreamed of...so he is just going to have to go with what I like. Hmmm...maybe I should wait until I am engaged...and married. I will say though, I had always heard of the "biological clock ticking" and I thought it was soooo silly...until mine started. Its a real thing. Plus it doesn't help that my friend just had a beautiful baby boy.

Enough about babies. Lets talk about our wildlife. I am blessed to share this amazing property with Casey. Well I don't really "share" I just reside. We have four acres of trees and flowers, and grass. It really is beautiful. We have a pet raccoon (not really a pet). I think I'll call him Rocky. Or maybe Ricardo. There are also a ton of rabbits. And apparently there's a fox...but I haven't seen him. Reese LOVES it here. The backyard is taken by the three other dogs, so Reese has a little stake we put in the ground and she runs around out front.

Well I need to go read my bookclub book...although I'm not fooling anyone...I'm so not going to do it. I just am NOT into this book.

Girlville, if you read this...I have a craft idea for you that you can sell on Etsy.

Interview...

2010-05-28T14:04:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wanted something so badly...but if someone asked you couldn't really answer as to why?? I had this job interview today...and I was absolutely positive THIS was the job for me. I studied every possible question that an interviewer might ask. I had all the right words perfected...and then it came. I had to take a grammar test. Really...a grammar/spelling test for the girl that generally misspells grammar. With the invention of spellcheck came the invention of instant stupidity. First the calculater ruined math...now this. On the up side...I do have to go back tonight to meet with the other person I was supposed to meet with this morning. That automatically should win me brownie points!! The interviewer did say that she'd like me to come back for a second interview...so yay for that. But...as I was sitting there, in that stuffy office, I couldn't help but wonder if that was a place I'd like to work. Not a hospital so much...but the top executive office for the big wigs. Do I really want to trade in my jeans, t-shirts, and flip flops for suit jackets and pantyhose (which are required)? It was funny because the whole time I was getting ready before my interview I could hear my mom's voice in my head "did you put on lipstick?? You need some lipstick". Oh...and the answer is no. I put on some chapstick and went on my way. Then of course my lovely boyfriend says "make sure you take your make-up off before you get to work." To which I replied "I wear this same amount of make-up every day sweetie." I can't be too mad...he said I looked hot! :) Interviews are funny because you have this preconceived notion before you go in of how things will be...and then they're not. for instance...I have another one Tuesday with a different hospital...and I was really not excited about it at all...but now it's looking up...and I'm actually getting excited. What if THAT one is THE one?? I have stressed over this whole interview thing for the past week and I am mentally exhausted. I can't wait to go home and get in my new comfy bed...and just relax all night long. Just me and the puppy.

Speaking of new beds, we just got a memory foam bed. My ex husband and I bought a brand new pillow top Simmons Beautyrest...and it was horrible. So Casey and I just got a new memory foam. I think i'm in love...although it's only been one night. I will report more after it's been a few days. I just hope my constant back pain in the mornings goes away.

2009-12-30T20:12:00.000-05:00

As you can see...I'm so incredibly sporadic with my blogging that I have probably lost all my bloggy friends...but hopefully you'll all pop in and actually get to read something new.

I have learned, although I always knew, that I am a forward thinker. I am always looking for the next best thing. Rather than jumping the hurdle right in front of me I'm already thinking about the finish line, or the next race. What I'm saying is that I'm not good at living in the moment. So...like everything else I do in life, when something bothers me, or puzzles me, or I just need to know all the facts...I turn to my researching. Call it a gift, call it a skill, call it what you will...I am an expert researcher. If I could get paid to do nothing but research all day I would have finally found the job I'm a shoe in for. But I digress. So today I have researched every thing under the sun as the "living in the moment" thing has become the newest addition to my ever growing list of New Years resolutions...although funny enough they all generally relate to the same thing. Happiness. I want to stop being negative. I want to stop gossiping. I want to be happier. And now, I want to "live in the moment". I looked into a gratitude journal, which led me to a blog where someone was talking about their list of things that make them happy. Not necessarily things they are grateful for...although in a roundabout way it's the same thing. And then I came across this website. For all those that don't feel like clicking on the link it's called 1000 Awesome Things. And the more I read the more I thought "oh man...I love that too". It's the greatest website. So I have decided I want to start a list like that. Although due to copyright laws I should probably come up with a new name. How about 1001 Awesome Things?? Just kidding, but I do need a title. Maybe I'll make a list of my favorite things. Being an extremest this shouldn't be hard because it seems like EVERYTHING is my absolute favorite thing. You may remember a post I had about extremes from my previous blog but basically for those that are new to this...I either love things or I hate things. Things are either going great or they're over. It's either too full or empty. If I had a nickel for every time I uttered a phrase like "this is the best song EVER" I'd probably be writing this blog from the comfort of my lanai in Jamaica. So maybe "a few of my favorite things" will be the title of this adventure. Not sure. I also haven't decided if I'm going to do this in a journal or on here. I think it would be fun to it on here and possibly even easier...plus it might inspire someone else.

Well I'm off...to make my list. Happy New Year!!!

Random Ramblings...

2009-11-17T20:24:00.001-05:00

So my book club friend and I were talking about different books today. She told me that her favorite author is Jodi Picoult. I mentioned that another girl we work with said how disappointing she was. Then again...the latter person is Ms. Pessimistic herself so I don't put a lot of stock in what she says. Of course after Amy (book club friend) told me how brilliant Jodi Picoult was I HAD to read something of hers. I checked the library but no dice there. All checked out. Now...I have this horrible problem where if I get something on my mind that I want (ie: a book, a song, a movie, etc) I MUST have it...immediately. Its definitely not a good trait to possess, but one I possess anyway. Amy said she'd bring me the book tomorrow but that just wasn't going to work. What would I read tonight? Well I ended up going to her house to get it. I think Jodi has 16 books and I hope she's as good as everyone says, so I can have something to read for a long time. This particular book is Nineteen Minutes. From what I got from Amy its about this boy that was picked on horribly his entire life and eventually he snaps...and becomes a school shooter. Being a bleeding heart liberal (as my boss/friend so kindly put it today) I am sure I will find this book especially interesting. While I obviously don't condone killing (I'm against it in ALL ways, shapes, and forms...not just against it in a way that suits my beliefs) I do see why these people turn to these horrific crime. Kids can be cruel...horrible. Bullying should be a no tolerance offense. I was never bullied...but I was the victim of incredibly hurtful words in middle school...and I remember the name of the kid that did it as well as the words that were said..and the class it was in. Mrs. Callendrella to be exact...and I don't remember ANYTHING...much less middle school teachers names...so needless to say...I'll never ever forget. Anyway...I feel for those kids being bullied just as much as I feel for the people affected by these senseless shootings. I will let you know how the book is...and if you have read her books, please let me know what you thought!!!

I have an obsession. A horrible obsession. A very very fattening obsession...but this one ranks right up there with my obsession for Flav-o-ice popsicles. You're probably dying to know what it is. Well...it's Cheddar popcorn. Seiferts to be exact. OMG...I could eat this popcorn like its my job. I probably have a corn stalk growing in my stomach as we speak.

All those years of watching the Price is Right finally paid off!!!! My bloggy friend Girlville had a contest to guess how much she sold at her greats aunt's estate sale. Seeing as how I've never been to an estate sale I honestly had no idea...so...in true Sarah fashion...my guess was $1. You know...from Price is Right. I won, I won, I won!!! YAYAYAYAYAY me!!!!! I am so greatful for my bloggy friends!!!

Well...I guess that's all for tonight. I really thought I had more to say than this...but guess not. :(

Book Club...

2009-11-12T20:05:00.001-05:00

So today a girl I work with asked me if I'd want to be in a book club with her. I've always longed to have a purpose in life. Okay, a purpose isn't exactly what I mean. I just mean that I have never in my adult life been a part of something. My momma is in stamping clubs, and bunko clubs, and reading club, and garden club, and day lilly club...and I, her 31 year old daughter have nothing. My mom is cooler than I am. There are so many things I would LOVE to do but I am the kind of person that needs guided. I don't take the initiative to do those things on my own. For example, I'd love to take a basic cooking class, or take dancing lessons, or go to a stamp club, or take a painting class, or a sign language class (that one is particularly important to me because Casey's daughter is autistic and I have read/heard that autistic children sometimes communicate by sign language), or so many other things. I have always known people that are in book clubs and it always seemed so fun but they were usually older than I was and we probably wouldn't have been on the same page (no pun intended) with our choices of books. Its going to be nice to have something for me in my life. I don't really have anything that's mine. I blog, but that's just because I love to write. I tailgate...but come on...that's not really a "thing". This will be something that holds me accountable...and I love that. So...the first book will be The Doctors Wife. I know my bloggy friend Pam is a huge reader so maybe she can give me suggestions or reviews. I have already done my due diligence and have called the library and it's on reserve for me to pick up tomorrow. My momma will be so proud of me. No wasting money on buying books (it's one thing if it's a book you love and will read several times over). I was trying to figure out what book I could pick...although my turn probably won't be until at least after April. I guess it does no good to pick a book now when all the good books will have changed by the time it's my turn. but...I did find this great website...and I think I am going to set a challenge for myself. This website is a list of 100 top book club books. My goal is to have read at least half by this time next year...if not all. I am a slow reader...and I have a tendency to lean more towards tv than books, but I'd like to get away from that and read more. The #1 book on their list is The Help which my momma's book club is reading. Momma loved it, so maybe after The Doctors Wife I'll get that one. We'll see.

Question...

2009-11-05T21:30:00.001-05:00

Any of you heard of The Company Store? And if so...any comments about it???

And stupid question...but what is the difference in a coverlet and a quilt???

Randomness...

2009-11-05T20:20:00.000-05:00

Please excuse the randomness but this will be an uber random/long post.

Three nights ago I was getting ready for bed and I took Reese out to potty one last time before we went to bed. Reese, much like her mother, has the attention span of a gnat, and when she sees something she is easily distracted from the task at hand. On the way inside Reese started growling and barking at my patio. I turned and noticed a shadow, which I then realized was a black cat. Knowing that Reese thinks she's much tougher than she actually is, I quickly dragged her inside and closed the door. I have never seen a cat running around and I've lived here for over a year so this was kind of weird. I looked out my blinds on the patio and the cat was gone so I looked out my front window at my door and she was sitting on the front porch. This particular night it was super cold outside. I put Reese in her cage and went outside to see the cat. Now...let me interject a few points before I continue. I have owned three cats in my life. Once as a child and two on my own will as an adult. All three cats were loving...not like a good majority of cats that are stuck up and snobby (non-cat people know what I'm talking about). However, sometime in my old age I became allergic to animals...both dogs and cats...however cats wreak much more havoc on my allergies than dogs because it's actually the saliva (yes, I've done my research) that causes the allergies and cats are constantly licking themselves. So needless to say, with the allergies came a dislike for cats. Well that and I also in my old age began not liking animals that shed. Luckily for me, Reese is a single layer fur dog and she never sheds...ever. I digress. I went outside and this was the prettiest cat ever. I literally FELL in love. She (I am calling her a she although I'm not sure of the sex) was all black with these yellowish eyes. I actually sat on my sidewalk in my t-shirt and sweats and couldn't stop petting her...and I never pet cats because if I do there goes the eyes and nose. She just purred and purred like she was in Heaven. And she'd circle around my back and rub her head on my leg. I got up and walked to the front of my building. The precious cat followed right at my feet. I was kind of hoping it would get some sixth sense and realize where it's home was...but no such luck. Kitty followed me all the way back to my apartment...not missing a beat. If all cats were like this cat (personality wise) I would love them all...despite my allergies. I felt horrible because I wasn't sure what to do with Kitty. I had no litter box and couldn't bring her in because Reese would flip her lid...so I left her outside and quickly came in to call Casey...my farmer-esq boyfriend. Casey said that whatever I do...don't feed the cat otherwise I will be the proud owner of a cat and dog. I asked if I could go back out and pet the cat some more and he said that was fine...just no food. When I went back outside...the cat was gone. :( That was a long story for nothing.

So I have decided (feel free to steal my idea...i have yet to copyright it) to start what I'm calling a "new months resolution". Each month I am going to make a resolution to make a change in my life. November's resolution is to TRY to stop worrying about things that I can not control. I can thank the two marketing girls at work for this. These two girls, both in their early twenties are fairly new. Their job description says that they are to work 45 hours. Well unfortunately for me I sit next to a window so I see when everyone comes and goes. They should be coming in at 9 and leaving at 6...plus working events. Instead they come in at 9:15-9:30 and leave at 5:00-5:30...and take an hour lunch. Now I'm sorry...but how is that not supposed to be frustrating?? This has bothered me (obviously) a long time...then yesterday I decided I was done keeping tabs. They're not my responsibility so I'm not going to worry about it. I can't control it. And what good is going home mad every day and then dwelling on it all night?? So my resolution is to only worry about the things I can change and not worry about the things I can't. December's resolution is to stop complaining. Not sure what January will hold for me. I'll keep you apprised of how this is going for me.

A few weeks ago I started listening to Christmas music at work. I never realized that it's virtually impossible to be in a bad mood when you're listening to Christmas music. Granted anyone that walked by my desk would harass me for getting into the Christmas spirit before Halloween but as far as I was concerned, if they didn't like it, the world was a pretty big place and they could find someplace else to go. This has also led me to the decision that I am going to make this the best Christmas ever. I am not going to stress this year about getting the right presents. I'm not going to stress about going to the mall. I'm simply going to take the time to enjoy the season. I'm going to take the time to reflect on what Christmas is about. I'm going to give to charity, and give to every bell ringer I see...even if it is just a nickel or two. After all...doesn't it feel better to give than receive? I think we have all lost sight of what the true meaning of Christmas is about. It's about love...not about who got the newest version of an IPod. It's about giving...not about getting. I can honestly say that this is the first year I could actually come up with a laundry list of things I'd like for Christmas, but that being said...I'd really just like a new camera (because taking pictures is a passion of mine) and that's it. Sure a new perfume would be nice...but I have perfume. Sure a new blanket would be nice...but I have blankets...and a snuggie. I think this year I'd like to maybe do something different. Maybe I'll ask for donations to charities. Or maybe I'll tell people not to get me anything at all. I'm not really sure. I just feel like I'm about as blessed in my life as one person could be and I'm not sure that another trinket will really matter to me as much as maybe a new toy would matter to a child that's going without. I'm not trying to be a humanitarian...but over the last week I have come to realize what a difference a kind word can mean to another person...which leads me to my last and final random topic.

I answered the phone the other day and this lady was on the other end of the phone. She had the most beautiful southern accent (I LOVE southern accents). I asked if she was from North Carolina (I could tell by her area code) and she said yes, and asked me how I knew. I went on to tell her that I could tell by her accent. We ended up talking for 2o minutes. Just a random stranger and I. I mentioned how I'd always wanted to live in NC...preferably Charlotte because its an amazing city. At the end of our conversation she told me she wanted to get my name and number and she wanted to give me hers. She said she wanted me to come down and stay with her and her family anytime. They have a 5 bedroom house and only two bedrooms are being used. She said they'd help me in anyway that she could. I learned more from this woman in the period of 20 minutes than I know about some of my friends I've known for 6 months. As we were getting off the phone she told me how great it was to talk to me and she could just tell I was a wonderful person. It was after that that I realized how a simple word can make a friendship. My daddy never knew a stranger. In fact it would drive me crazy because we couldn't go anywhere without him talking to someone. Just a random someone. And sometimes these talks would lead to correspondence. And my daddy would never forget a person. If he meets someone on vacation you better believe he'll be going back to that same place the next year to see if they're still there. While it gets annoying at times it's also one of the neatest things about my father. He knows no stranger...but I know that his letter, cards, poems or emails have touched most if not all of the people that have been blessed to come in contact with my him I can't help but stop and think sometimes what an amazing world we'd be in if everyone took a little more time to make someones day. Just a hello could touch a person...but it seems like we're all too busy to exchange that one word. Maybe that will be my January resolution. Maybe I too can change a persons life!

Ah...the internet...what a funny thing you are...

2009-10-29T21:33:00.001-04:00

So my mom sent me one of those forwarded emails. This one actually happened to be really good. In fact, it was very good. It's one of those that makes you reflect. Now...I did as I always do when I get these emails...I research them. After all...I like to verify the authenticity of said email. The email my mom sent said the person that wrote this was 90...when in fact I was surprised to find out she was actually only 53. Apparently math is hard for someone out there in cyberspace. I will paste the actual contents of the email below...but I am also pasting a link...basically about all the emails this lady got about being 90.

Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on
By Regina Brett
May 28, 2006, 10:13AM
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

This is the funny article she wrote about all the emails she got.

2009-10-29T20:22:00.000-04:00

Wow...it's been awhile since my last blog. With all the fun stuff to do on Facebook it seems like blogging is a thing of the past. Well it's time to resurrect it. :) I'm bringing blogging back...

Not much has changed. I'm still dating Casey and he's absolutely amazing. My momma always asks me why I married Chris...and quite frankly I don't know...but besides the fact that I think there's a reason for everything, I really don't know that I'd appreciate what an amazing man Casey is if I hadn't experienced what I did when I was married. I don't think that we're given anything we can't handle...and I think that we learn from everything we encounter. I will never forget something my boss said to me awhile ago...he said "Sarah, you are never going to be happy because you believe in a fairytale and that simply doesn't exist." You know what...I thought he might be right...after I got done crying and dried my tears. Then I met Casey. Casey became my friend long before either of us ever thought about dating. I think that's why this is different...why it will last. I made a best friend before I ever had a boyfriend. After all...isn't friendship the foundation to any stable, good relationship?? I am not in any way exaggerating this...he's my prince charming. He's everything I could have ever asked for in a relationship...and so much more. He's the one. Sometimes you just know...and I know. Yay for that!!! I have never had a guy open my car door, or fill my car up with gas and get me a car wash, or make sure my tires have air, or get me roses...just because, or write me a poem, or clean my kitchen, or go to the store when I'm sick and buy me not only medicine...but a snuggie, or take my dog out and walk her...for no reason. I have never had a guy buy my dog a doggie home so that she has a nice, safe, cat-free place to sleep when she goes to his house...or a guy that would run clear across a major street in traffic and around a pond just to get my dog...that once again got off her leash...and once again ran around another pond (you'll read about that in the next paragraph) (even I couldn't keep up with her...but he ran like his life depended on it). I have never had these things...and for that...I will never take them for granted...and I'll appreciate them always. I had always seen happy couples...my parents, my friends...but I was never sure I'd be one of them. After all...hadn't I already had my chance at that? Now I know what it's like.

Okay...enough mushyness!!!

Reese is still a little terror!!! I bought her a new collar for Christmas. It's so cute. It has a snowman that lights up. Or should I say "had" a snowman that lit up...until the battery somehow came off. At any rate...it was very, very cute. Unfortunately it's a little too big. I didn't think much of it...until Monday. I took her out and was trying to get her to come back in...and she escaped from the collar...and proceeded to run all the way around the pond (which isn't exactly small) and over into the apartment buildings clear across the complex. And THEN she proceeded to run up to some poor guy just trying to get out of his car and bark at him like the little 10 pound dog that she is was going to attack him or something. As much as I would have loved to run after her it was not going to happen in my boots with heels. UGH... I finally caught her...and gave her a stern lecture all the way back to my apartment. If anyone saw me they probably thought I was crazy. I had already decided if she went in the pond after the ducks that little dog was on her own. I have seen what lives in that pond and I was NOT going in there. Okay...so that's a lie. IF Reese had gone in the pond and was struggling I would rescue her...but I would not be happy about it. The only upside to that would be that maybe the firemen that are next door would come and rescue me. :)

My parents came up last weekend and met Casey. Yes...we're back on Casey again. I was so worried about what they'd think about him. I wanted them to love him as much as I do. We went to dinner Thursday night with him and then he came back over for a little while. He also come over Saturday and we went to lunch with him. My parents said they really liked him...which was good...but I wanted them to LOVE him. And then it happened. My mom called me on Monday and said "oooohhhh Sarah (in what could only be described as a happy, very high pitched voice)...your father and I were talking and we both just love Casey." That made my night...which was not the best to begin with after the Reese debacle. Casey really liked my parents too which was great. He got a big kick out of them. After all...they are delightfully adorable.

Well I guess that's about all the updates I have for tonight! I will try and blog more frequently. I miss my bloggy friends!

Stay classy San Diego!!!! Hee hee...I hope someone gets that reference.

<3

Playing Catch Up

2009-08-15T21:08:00.000-04:00

I am not sure if it's the medicine...or just having to go to the emergency room...but today I have been extremely emotional. But in a good way. I feel very grateful. I want to tell all those I love how much I love them...and I don't want to take things for granted. No one wants to, i know that, but in our busy daily lives, it's hard sometimes to just stop and think...or stop and smell the roses.

So last Sunday I started having cramps. But these weren't the normal cramps...and trust me...i have VERY bad cramps for a week a month...so I know all about those. Then my stomach was distended. So I had a distended stomach and constant pain. It was a fullness feeling. Yesterday after lunch I was sitting at my desk...and all of a sudden the pain become overwhelming. I couldn't figure out what to do. I couldn't sit, so I tried to stand. Standing wasn't the way to go either. By this time it was after 3:00 and I called my doctor. Of course they couldn't get me in. I was advised to go to the ER. So I went upstairs and one of the girls told me she'd take me to the hospital. Of course I started to cry because the thought of being alone scares the crap out of me...but also because at that moment in time all I wanted was to have my family here...and then on top of all that I already started compiling the massive hospital bill in my head. I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to let the intern take me. Poor, sweet girl. She's 18 and that was her last day. She wasn't just any intern though...she was the owners niece. I was shocked at how quickly I got back into registration. Granted there was no one in the waiting room. It was the craziest experience. In registration I was hit with a barrage of questions from every angle. Three different people all asking questions at once. Good grief...my head was spinning. The PA and nurse were great. The PA's name was Sarah and the nurse was Jacque. Kind of comical because I'm Sarah and my friend is Jackie. What are the chances? They told me they wanted to give me some medicine and asked if I was allergic to anything. I told them I wasn't...because at the time I didn't know I was. I was given an injection of morphine and Phenergin (sp?). A few minutes later I see some bumps...so I say to the nurse "ummm excuse me...is it bad that I have to have these bumps on my arm?" She laughed and said "oh sweetie...those are hives...no...that's not good." Next I get an injection of Benedryl. I have a CT scan, and blood tests. Then the PA comes in and tells me the "good news"...they can't find anything wrong. Blood tests all look great. CT scan showed nothing. Bad news...they have no idea what's wrong with me. Where's Dr. House when you need him??? By this time I just wanted something to be wrong with me so I would know i wasn't crazy. The next thing was the ultra sound. Turns out there was a portion of my ovary not getting blood to it. This is not a good thing. They think it's the cyst that is causing it to not get blood. Thank God...otherwise I'd have to have my ovary removed...which would devastate me. I want kids more than anything and that would make it so much harder. Not to mention I'm already old for having children. I was written a prescription for Vicoden and released. My sweet little intern friend took me to CVS and I got plenty to drink (non-alcoholic...don't worry) and my prescription and went home. I was worried about how I'd react to the medicine so I was taking one at a time. It said take 1-2. I didn't want it to make me sick...so I stuck to 1. Today however I took 2...and what a difference 2 makes. Takes the pain away for the most part...and make me sleepy.

So anyway...all day today I've felt the need to tell everyone how much they mean to me. It's a great feeling...and I hope to keep it.

Thanks so much to all those that read my blog!! You are all great!!!

**EDITED*New Foods

2009-07-23T18:54:00.000-04:00

I have found the most amazing granola bar on the face of the earth. However, I can't seem to find anyone to try it. They are True Delights by Quaker Oats...and I must say...they truly are delightful!!! So after reading this I want you to run as fast as you can to the nearest grocery store. So??? Why are you still here reading this?? Okay fine...you can finish reading because I have more cool stuff to talk about. I have come to the realization that I LOVE cheese. Cheese and I could be best friends. Now I'm not so much a fan of the the sliced singles cheese...because quite frankly it's just blech. I recently discovered my new favorite gem of a cheese...Baby Bel. This is made by Laughing Cow...which I do love. A new girl at work was talking about how delicious Baby Bell cheese was...but I must sayI was a skeptic. It's cheese...and cheese is cheese. Boy was I wrong. I decided to buy some and give them a whirl. I happen to like cheese and apples so that's how I ate it. To say that it was love at first bite is a bit of an understatement. I can't even describe this cheese. It was a bolder, thicker version of the creamiest cream cheese you could ever have. Wow. So good! And it was particularly delicious with apples.

And lastly on the food front. Has anyone ever watched Bizarre Foods? I am addicted to this show. Granted when Andrew eats bugs it makes my stomach churn...but it has given me this desire to try funky foods. I recently gave Argentinian food a try. It's a mixture of French, Spanish, and Italian. I wasn't overly impressed...but that could have had more to do with my selection and the restaurant...not necessarily the cuisine. My next adventure is going to be trying Tapas. We have a Tapas restaurant, but the food isn't nearly as exciting and weird as I saw on the Spanish edition of Bizarre Foods.

Well I think that's about all for now. I really urge you to try those granola bars!!

Global warming or global cooling???

2009-07-17T23:25:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry...but can someone refresh my memory. It is July...right?? That's what I thought...but by having to wear a sweatshirt or coat you sure would think it's more like September or October. I know it's Indiana...but come on. What is up with this weather? I know, I know...it could be much worse. We could have a drought, or a foot of snow...and I'm quite thankful that neither of those is the case. Tomorrow I think the high is 7o and the low is 54. Really?? 54??? It would actually be fantastic if I could open my windows and get a nice breeze but here are a few reasons why that is not possible.

1. My screen door came off the track a few weeks ago...and being the lazy one that I am, I haven't had time to call maintenance and have them come out. (i tried to get it back on...but it was not working)
2. My kitchen window has apparently been painted shut by one of the lovely painters. Apparently in this economy people can't waist the money on painters tape. Who knew?? What's next...people won't be able to spare a square???
3. My bedroom window is open...but there is a slight problem with the screen and it wouldn't take much more than a push to get in (sure hope none of you are stalkers) :)
4. I live on the bottom floor in the back of an apartment building and I'm the only entrance in the back...and i'm by a pond. Something about being a single female that lives alone on the bottom floor just makes me all kinds of paranoid. Luckily though...I do live right next to a fire station..so I am sure some hunky fireman will come to my aide if needed.
5. Because the rest of the house is so warm, and because the AC unit is conveniently located right outside my window it makes it a bit noisy.

So there you have it. AC it is. Not that Reese the vicious 12 pound guard dog won't nip at a burglers ankles...but I'm pretty sure that won't deter them.

Tomorrow I'm crossing my fingers that the weather is at least not raining. I actually really enjoy jeans and sweatshirt weather...just without the rain. I'm going with the secret someone to a co-worker/friend's b-day luau. And really ladies...what screams luau more than jeans and a sweatshirt. Guess I'll have to save my grass skirt and seashell bikini top for next year. I'm really excited and I can't wait actually!! Come to think of it...rain might be better than being in the sun for me. I don't think I fully facebooked about it...but a few weeks ago I went to the pool with friends...got a wee bit too much sun (only a couple hours worth)...and ended up with second degree burns on my legs...so bad that my legs were twice their normal size...and I couldn't walk. NICE!! So sun is no bueno for me!!! Yes, I know...there is this great stuff called sunscreen...I am just stupid. Maybe if my legs had ever been exposed to the sun this wouldn't have been a problem...but since I don't think they've seen the sun since I came out of the womb they are slightly...well let's just say they glow they're so white.

Well it's time for bed. I think I've facebooked and blogged all I can for one evening. Time to go read my new Glamour magazine. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!!

I'm back and I'm new!!!

2009-07-16T21:35:00.000-04:00

Well I'm not new...but my blog is. I am back...FINALLY!!! No, for real this time!!! I finally feel at a place in my life worth blogging about. I have come to realize that blogging was a huge passion of mine...that I lost...but now the passion is renewed and I feel like writing again. A few bumbs in the road between then and now...but learning experiences none the less.

As you can tell, I changed my blog address. Same template (blah) as the old one...but new name. It's actually my real name. Shhhh...don't tell anymore. :) I needed to lose the old name because it was no longer a part of who I was. I needed to get out with the old and in with the older.

I have greatly missed all my bloggy friends. Very much so. I adore you all and hope to get you all back!!!

So very much has changed in my life over the last 7 months. The divorce was final in December. I had a boyfriend...just broke up with him...and I have someone that I'm incredibly fond of. He shall remain nameless for the time being.

I feel like I have so much to say and not even sure where to being. I finally got wireless for my laptop...so I am sure I'll be blogging daily...and if not, pretty close.

I can't wait to finally share my life once again with all of you. I think I'll start tomorrow as there's not much to say today!!

Oh...and if anyone has any good book recommendations, please let me know!!

p.s. - for all those wondering, I still have my wonderful dog Reese. I am sure I'll be sharing plenty of misadventures about her too!!

My Own Happiness

A tale from a cybercondriac...And a story

Things I love...

A lightbulb moment...

Pain in the Tushie!!!

The Inner Workings...As I see them...

Touched by an Angel

Random Ponderings

Bitter Sweet

Sarah the conquerer

Fantastic Recipe!!

Come to the darkside...we have grapes!

Another day...another dollar (that title has nothing to do with anything)

Adventures in dieting...and other ranting ramblings...

Pondering...

It's electric...boogy woogy woogy

TSA pat down

Just in time...

Love is in the air...(no, it's not what you think)

A letter to all parents…

Rant-diculous

Madison and weekend plans...

Random acts of kindness...

My little birdies...

It's all about Meme...

50 Questions Meme

Adventures in cooking…

Chicken Enchiladas...YUMMO!!!

BBQ Pork

100 things I'd tell my younger self...

Weekend plans...

NaBloPoMo

Madison Makeover - 10-2-10 (15 photos), by Sarah Stallard

Weekend...

Word of the day rant...

Randomness...

Interview...

Random Ramblings...

Book Club...

Question...

Randomness...

Ah...the internet...what a funny thing you are...

Playing Catch Up

******EDITED*****New Foods

Global warming or global cooling???

I'm back and I'm new!!!

**EDITED*New Foods